Topic: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

I must rant, just for a second.  People need to learn a little couth.  If one more person says to me "wow, you're only 16 weeks?  And that BIG?  And you know theres only ONE?" they might just recieve a new anal opening.

I'm 16 weeks.  And I'm big.  I tend to carry extra weight about my midsectioon to start with, so when babe pops, it shoves that fat along with it.  And this is my fourth pregnancy, so my muscles are a little lax in that area.  Not to mention I'm SHORT and theres not a lot of room, so my body has adapted and I carry all my babies WAY out front.  You know that "hungry but can't eat because my watermellon belly is squishing my insides" feeling?  I don't!  How about the "can't catch my breath because there is a baby in my diaphragm"?  Nope, not that one either, they hang all out front and leave my internal organs pretty much alone.

Seriously, I don't think people think.  If they tell you you're tiny, you worry baby is not growing.  If they tell you you're big, you want to hit them.  Either way, stick to "you look great" and move along.

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Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Oh, I would.  When I was pregnant with Moosie a lady in safeway that I did not know came over and rubbed my belly, saying "its so big and round...".  So I reached out and grabbed her boob and said "wow, its so squishy!".  I never saw her again, but I bet she never touched another belly uninvited.

http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt125c22.aspx

Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

It's amazing what complete strangers are willing to say to us! Or friends for that matter.  Who wrote the rule that anything goes when talking to a pregnant woman?? Here's how my conversation went with a former coworker at a retirement party.  Mind you, she only knew via Facebook that I WAS pregnant....not how I got pregnant.

Snot: (with contempt in her voice) "well.....I hear congratulations are in order."
Me: "Yeah, thank you.  I am super excited."
Snot: (giant sigh...long pause and the ) ".....I didn't expect it."
Me (with a kiss my big fat pregnant butt kind of laugh) "oh, well I did!"
Snot: "Well I always knew you wanted kids, I just thought.......you'd wait till you got married"

It was too funny how absolutely rude and ridiculous she was for me to get
Mad.  And by the way, that entire group of people still do not know where baby came from.  It's in no way a secret.....but a group of people that nosy and who are just DYING to know just don't deserve the privilege, if you ask me. :-)

And BTW, I don't think you look huge at all. ;-)

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Goobie wrote:

Oh, I would.  When I was pregnant with Moosie a lady in safeway that I did not know came over and rubbed my belly, saying "its so big and round...".  So I reached out and grabbed her boob and said "wow, its so squishy!".  I never saw her again, but I bet she never touched another belly uninvited.

LMAO!! When my friend was pregnant she had a lady in te elevator do the exact same thing! She replied "yeah well so is your a$$ but you don't see me reaching over and grabbing it!"

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Having 6 kids means I take no $hit!

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Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

It is beyond annoying what people say and do to pregnant women!  But my biggest pet peeve is when we are waiting somewhere and not one person sitting offers their seat to the pregnant lady!!! So rude! But DP doesn't want me to call anyone out when we are in those situations.

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TTC No. 2 since Aug. 2014; IVF #1 - Cxld; IVF #2 - BFN

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

It definately seems like people don't know what the right thing to say to a pregnant lady is. I didn't get big until later in my pregnancy. I had strangers giving me the "you're SO small" speech. But I wasn't small. I was measuring right on track and so was baby! I don't understand why people can't just compliment you on your pregnancy and be done with it!

I was one of the lucky ones that was offered a seat on an outside city bus stop by a nice gentleman. He was an older man with his wife. Wanted to hear all about my pregnancy, which was really cute! I swear - are older people the only ones with manners anymore? But anyway - very nice of him to do that for me!

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Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

The day after I gave birth to Ry, ex-h and I went down to the cafeteria to steal a snack with Ry was being watched over. On the way down he says something like "you still look 6 months pregnant." I wanted to smack him in his face! Oh, excuse me?! I'm sorry that I just gave birth after being a week overdue to his 9lb 1oz daughter! People are so dumb!

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Oh the bus seat thing!  Again, when I wa pregnant with Moosie, we took the bus a lot.  One day about 8 months into my pregnancy, with a 3.5 year old Boog along, we got on the bus after one of my appointments, and I grabbed the hand loopy thing with one hand and Boogs hand with the other, as I normally did.  It was just after school and the bus was packed with teens.  About half a block later the bus pulled over on the side of the road and the driver just sat there.  At first no one really noticed that we were not at a stop and none of the doors were open.  Then the chatter turned to that hushed "whats going on?" thing.  Finally the bus driver came over his PA and said "this bus is not moving til 2 people move to let the very pregnant lady and her child sit down".  I don't know who was more embarassed, me or the reprimanded teens!

I have ALWAYS taught my kids to open doors for people, offer their seat on the bus, say good day, pick things up they drop... and am blown away by how rude other people are.  And not just kids, adults too.

http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt125c22.aspx

Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

lol!  i love it!  no kidding.  people need to just shut up when it comes to talking to pregnant women.  as if a mom doesn't already have enough to worry about.

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Heather&Beni wrote:

DKIC, friend.


You know it!!

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Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

12 (edited by Kari 2013-04-27 05:30:35)

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Okay, I wish there was a "like" button for so many of these comments!  My least favorite one was based on a photo of the day I was induced with pre-e.   I had only gained 27 pounds, and Justin was 5 1/2 pounds.  I lost 24 pounds within 10 days of giving birth, so I know a lot was water weight gain.  I posted the picture on FB and my college roommate said, "Oh, you did NOT look good in that picture."  Now, instead of seeing that picture and focusing on my excitement of being induced and getting to see Justin soon, I see a fat face.  sad

http://i1211.photobucket.com/albums/cc433/Kari_Kari4/100_4667_zpspk4wwxj5.jpg
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Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Oh Kari thats awesome!  I think people need to comment on what they are supposed to comment on, and leave it alone.  I can't tell you how many pictures  have haven off FB because people comment on the laundry in the background etc instead of the focus of the shot.  Don't judge my house, my kids are busy making memories, the laundry will wait!
\
As for commenting on your looks right before you have a baby,  just don't!  I have one picture of when I was in labour with Moose.  I was "grinning" in the middle of a contraction.  Its not a great shot, but it captures a very important moment in my life, it was right after my water broke and the nurses declared I was actually in labour (because they didn't believe me when I told them comehting was going on, because I could still talk through my contractions).  I look tat that picture and remember how I met my first born daughter 47 minutes after my water broke, and how excited I was, and happy.  Others see a fat face with a goofy grimmace and tangled sweaty hair in a ponytail.

http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt125c22.aspx

Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

I hate it when you tell some one you're pregnant and while you are beaming with joy they say, 'So, I take it this is a good thing?'. It's beyond rude. Seriously, just say congratulations. Heck, even if the expecting woman is sad and crying, just say congratulations, it can always be sorted out later.

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Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Yes, people's stupidity never ceases to amaze me. I'm sorry; how irritating. During my pregnancy I heard both, "Oh you're so big, oh you're so small...blah blah blah." Finally I thought eff them, no one knows what they're even talking about, so often people speak without thinking. It's so irritating.
The nicest thing that happened during my pregnancy with a stranger was when I was 2
39 weeks and HUGE. I was in the supermarket and a woman passed me and said, "You look simply beautiful." I don't know or care if she even meant it, but I needed to hear it right then, when I felt anything but beautiful.
I'm sure you look beautiful too and are growing a healthy happy baby!

Re: People are stupid, what not to say to a pregnant lady

Thank you Kate!  I had one of the owners of the grocery store tell me yesterday I was glowing, and quite definitely carrying a boy!  No remarks needed about size.  Of course it is always helpful for me to go out as I did on Friday night, with a group of lovely people who can't keep their hands off my belly smile I am one of those weirdos who enjoys being rubbed, so it was much needed!

http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt125c22.aspx

Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!