Topic: Name dilema

This is basically just a "what do you think" or "what would you do" since I'm pretty sure my heart knows the answer for my family already, BUT...

Before Tiny was conceived Tim and I were talking names.  I mentioned I had a girls name I always loved, but my ex had poo-pooed for our daughter together.  Tim had the same thing for a boys name, one he loved, his wife said over her dead body.  Turns out he liked my girls name, and therefore we used it for Tiny and he "picked" her middle name (I loved the flow of it and the meaning behind, so it all worked out well).  His boys name and my choice of a boys middle name (my late brothers name, no compromise there) flow very nicely together, sound great with our last names, are appropriate for baby through adult stage.  So what is my hold-up?  Now that I know we are having a boy, I don't LOVE the first name we picked out.  I like it.  I could grow to love it.  But it is SO COMMON, and I am already sick of explaining to people that we would be using the long form of the name and NOT its common nickname.

Sheesh, this is getting complicated.  OK, to lay it all out there, the name Tim loves (and we had agreed on for a boy for Ivy, whom I thought was a boy, and it didn't bother me then) is Anthony.  NOT Tony.  Anthony.  My brothers name is Jordon.  Anthony Jordon works.  I like it.  But I don't like already correcting people that it would not be Tony.  Ever.  And my number one criteria for naming one of my babies has always been "A name we like but don't personally know anyone with a child with this name" and Anthony is a super common name.  Antonio is even more common in our area, but regardless, it's more used then my heart likes.

So what would you do if this was you?  Suck it up, love the name because you know you can?  Or do exactly what the ex wife did and say "I don't like it anymore" and demand a different pick?

Oh, and for the sake of putting it out there, no, reversing the names will not work, I cannot use my brothers name as the first name, and adding ANOTHER name (like Richard Anthony Jordon) is also not gonna work for us, as we have two last names, very long.

*sigh*

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Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

Re: Name dilema

I'm going to have to agree with Sarah. For the sake of Tim, suck it up. I think it will break his heart if you don't. I spent my whole life correcting people about every name that my Mom and Dad choose. My siblings in order are Jousha, Jennifer, David, Ashley (ME!), Kassey (said like Cassie not Casey), and Matthew. No nicknames ever.

And on the likeing the name, but not loving it. My Niece's name is Evelyn. I wasn't very fond of that name at first but now I LOVE it and couldn't have it any other way.

Re: Name dilema

I like Antonio and Anthony equally, my girls names are super common but that doesn't bother me a bit!

Re: Name dilema

Like I said before, I am pretty sure I know what my heart is saying, and that's that I really do not hate the name.  It is just far more common then any of our other kids names.  If it lets you know which way my heart is swaying, I'm already teaching Tiny how to say Anthony!

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Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!

Re: Name dilema

I have a friend whose son's  name is Anthony and she has insisted on Anthony...teachers, his friends all call him Anthony...I have never heard anyone calling him Tony. Just stick to your guns even with well meaning people and Anthony it will be until however he is a rebellious teen and hey if we can just make it through the day it's a good day. I too think if you promised your husband I would try my best to learn to love it. It is nice you will have your brother's name as the baby's middle name...a piece of him to carry on.

Re: Name dilema

I think go for it and use it. As for correcting people, my cousin's kids are twins and have same letter first names. They shorten the girl's name to a nickname but hate the shortened version of their boy's name. So they use the full name and correct people who shorten it. It's probably taken about nine months to get everyone on board with not shortening it, but they're there now and no one would consider the nickname, that just wouldn't be him.

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Re: Name dilema

Suck it up, from what I know of your family he won't be Anthony at home anyhow since you have a boog, moosei, and tiny, he'll be bugs or whatever so it won't really matter anyhow. (G is bug smile )

Re: Name dilema

Probably not as intuitive a nickname, as it requires more than simply leaving off a syllable, but we have successfully avoided Hank (which we HATE). When Henry arrived, several people gave Hank a test run - we politely and firmly told them that we wouldn't be using that nickname and they dropped it. Hopefully you can do the same with Tony if you choose Anthony for a fn.

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Re: Name dilema

No way would I be able to suck it up (LOL single here).  I would have to at least let Tim know I wasn't in 100%.  I like the name though.

Re: Name dilema

My oldest boy got the traditional take your fathers name. I didn't really care for it  and didn't want anyone one calling him junior, so I used the nickname Buddy. It was so cute when he was little he came home from school and told me his name was John not Buddy. I told him he could tell others to call him John but he would always be my Buddy.

Feb '13 - BFN   March '13 - BFN
April '13 - extra af - bfn ( i still think the smiley lied) reg. af - bfn
June '13 - bfn July '13 - bfn  Aug '13 - BFN Sept '13 - another bfn Oct '13 - bfn
Nov '13 - well af showed a week early-BFN
Dec '13 - BFN Jan '14 - BFN
ah Feb '14 BFPPP!!!!! Expecting him to arrive around November tenth.

Re: Name dilema

I dated an Anthony for a couple years and I was the only one who called him Tony (we were teenagers, so I think he was playing with his name/identity when we first met, and Tony stuck).  Everyone else called him AJ and teachers called him Anthony.  So, there are ways to get around the nicknamee

Re: Name dilema

Yes, I was going to say that AJ or TJ are possible derivatives as well....

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13 (edited by Flowergirl 2013-05-19 15:47:58)

Re: Name dilema

My oldest nephew is Anthony. No one has tried to call him Tony and he has never been anything but Anthony and he's 16. It can be done.

If Jose prefers Tony when he gets older, then so be it. But until he makes that choice known, you can let people know it isn't an acceptable name and he won't be answering to it, or acknowledged as such.

Unfortunately, some kids have strong opinions on their names themselves, and make their wishes known quite early - my friends named their daughter Camryn with the plan to call her Cami (which they did) but when she was about 5 she began correcting people herself "My name is Camryn, not Cami." Her Mom still calls her Cami, but to school friends, etc. she is Camryn because that's what she wants.

After 9 yrs & 1 devastating loss, we got our BFP at 9DPO ~ and welcomed our beautiful son on Halloween! Best treat ever!!

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Re: Name dilema

In our circle of family and friends we have an Anthony, Cristian, Jacob, Jonathan, William and even a Donald James who go by their full name only.  If both u and the child refer to themselves as that then most everyone will follow suit.  We have Alexis who we refer to as Lexi or Lex most of the time at home but at school and gymnastics she wants to be called Alexis. So even the friends she had before school that ended up in her same preschool class transitioned over the year from knowing her as and calling her Lexi to mostly calling her Alexis. I .wouldn't worry about it...until he turns 5 and tells everyone his name is Tony. LOL j/k

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Re: Name dilema

One of my best guy friends is Anthony. And I've never thought to call him Tony. It just wouldn't...fit. If you correct people when they do say a nickname you just say "we prefer you call him by his real/full name", eventually I think people will catch on smile

16

Re: Name dilema

My cousin named her son Anthony and also hated the nickname Tony. Middle name started with J and thinking of the TV show "Simon and Simon" I suggested AJ.  Everyone told my cousin the kid would end up being called Tony anyway. Well it's been 25 years and AJ is now my little one's godfather ... and no one has ever called him Tony!

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Re: Name dilema

I'd have to be honest and tell him that I wasn't thrilled with it and see what he says.

Re: Name dilema

KYST wrote:

I'd have to be honest and tell him that I wasn't thrilled with it and see what he says.

Yep, me too. I'd make mention about not being thrilled with the name's current popularity and see how he responds.

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Re: Name dilema

My nephews name is Anthony John and no one calls him Tony or AJ...which my brother/SIL was prepared to correct them. He is 8 and so far we all (including school/friends) still call him Anthony. I however still since the day he was born call him Stinky...but that's just my little nickname I made for him and can't seem to break. But no one cares about that...as long as it's not Tony or AJ. :-)

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Re: Name dilema

palegreen wrote:
KYST wrote:

I'd have to be honest and tell him that I wasn't thrilled with it and see what he says.

Yep, me too. I'd make mention about not being thrilled with the name's current popularity and see how he responds.

I'd to this too.  At least tell him and be honest about how you feel.  If he takes a stand and says no way he will entertain another name, then at that point you can consider sucking it up.  You never know what he is thinking... good luck!

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Re: Name dilema

Jen727BF wrote:

I'd to this too.  At least tell him and be honest about how you feel.  If he takes a stand and says no way he will entertain another name, then at that point you can consider sucking it up.  You never know what he is thinking... good luck!

exactly! He may not be as set in stone as you thing he is.

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Re: Name dilema

I have told Tim, actually during the ultrasound I said "I don't know if I'm 100% on board with Anthony", and we've discussed it a few times.  He says he is open to another name if we can find something else we both love more, but we have agreed that if we don't find something else we both adore then Anthony Jordon it will be... AJ as an acceptable nickname, Tony is not.

I have a niece who is Candace, not Candy, Candace.  So I know if we correct people, the name we choose will stick for most.  Some are bullheaded, and I can't do anything about those.

See, this is one of the reasons I like waiting til babe is born to find out the gender, no name stress because its ALL "well if baby is a .... then maybe ..." but its not REALLY decided til we see them.  But I'm still glad I found out this time smile

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Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!