Topic: I need reassurance
Not going to lie, I need someone to pat me on the back and tell me that I'm over-reacting and everything will be ok.
This pregnancy is weird. I have an anterior placenta, so I rarely feel baby moving unless I am laying really still and focusing on my belly. Its growing, HB is normal, ultrasound showed nothing amiss. I have never had a high risk pregnancy (besides HG in my second). Logically, I know that statistically, everything in this fourth pregnancy is perfect.
BUT... there has been so much tragedy and loss around me lately, so much stress and emotional lows, that I am reading into every little thing negatively. Yesterday I had "spotting". As in, once when I pee'd there was one drop of pinkish red blood when I wiped. Logically, I know I have a anterior LOW LAYING placenta, and 20 weeks is a common time for it to migrate, which can cause minor spotting. I also had one streak of brownish blood later last night, nothing today.
Another: Braxton hicks get worse with every pregnancy, and start earlier. I KNOW this. But my heart is filled with dread and fear every time my belly tightens.
And: I have this "symptom" with every pregnancy. Between 20 and 26ish weeks, I feel like I have been kicked in the box. Its just the weight of the babe resting on my cervix until it gets big enough to rest more weight on my pelvic bone. But I can't help picturing my cervix funnelling (it wasn't last week) and going into preterm labour.
I'm sure my mind is over working because of a few factors. I have a friend who is extreme high risk. We were pregnant with our first babies together, both boys, mine was fine, hers was still born early. We were pregnant with our second babies together (same due date even, both girls). Mine was fine, hers was born early and died at 3 months old. Now we're pregnant together again, due a week apart, both boys. I am so scared for her that I am projecting loss on myself. Also, tragically, one of my very close friends lost her daughter last week. She went to sleep in utero at 38 weeks on Mothers Day. C was induced on the Monday and had her precious angel baby on Tuesday. Yesterday was her memorial. Nothing was wrong on the Friday before, Saturday I had been poking her belly telling her to come on out and play, she was full term now and we wanted to meet her, and Sunday she got wrapped in her own cord and strangled. Another friends cousin had twins a month ago, one baby and mom almost died. They are doing well now, but it was a rough start. SO much loss, so much pain, so much sorrow... and I am freaking out about every little thing.
So please, I know in a public forum you can't ask for what you want to hear... but I just really need to hear that I am over-reacting and that Baby Boy is going to be just fine.