Topic: What would you do?
I am hoping you ladies can help me with a decision that I am finding difficult to make. I have an almost 15 yr. old son from a previous marriage. His father and I separated when he was only 6 months old and a yr. later we divorced. At that time I had decided to keep my married last name so my son and I would have the same last name. This has never been an issue, until now because I am 15 weeks pregnant and used a donor from NW. I have always wanted more children, but like so many others, I have just not found the right person to build a family with. I am very open with my son and never keep anything from him, so when he was younger I would ask his opinion on me changing my last name back to my maiden name. Back then it bothered him, but now that he is older he has told me he doesnt care either way. The problem is, he is the type of guy that doesn't like to be so open with his feelings now that he is older, so I'm not sure if he really doesn't care, or just doesn't want to tell me that he does. Other than paying child support, his father has not been very involved in his life. Up until our son was about three, he only saw him maybe once or twice a yr. for a couple of days, and then nothing but a random phone call once every other yr. until he was about 12. He came to stay a weekend with us to see our son, and promised to be back soon, but has never called since.
My dilema is, I don't want this baby to have a last name that means nothing to him/her just because I chose to keep my sons last name yrs. ago, however, I don't want to hurt my sons feelings either. If I knew it truly would not make my son feel like he is left out, I would probably change my name back, as it is I find it awkward that I share the same last name as my ex's current wife and daughter. I also feel a little sad to not have the same name as both of my children and any I may have in the future. My son is not interested in changing his last name, he is a junior, and although he never sees him he still loves his father and wouldn't want to hurt his feelings by changing it.
Sorry this is so long, but any opinions or guidance any of you can provide is appreciated.