Okay, I need to vent. I'm 13dpo with a normal 12 day LP, but all three tests I've taken have been negative. I should mention two things that could swing the situation one way or the other: With my "chemical pregnancy" (I hate calling it that, for some reason.), I didn't get a bfp until 14dpo, AND, last month, the first full cycle after the loss, I didn't start spotting until 13dpo, which will be today of this cycle. Before the loss, I would spot on 12dpo (sometimes even 11dpo) and have my full flow the next day. Did the loss just mess me up for good or temporarily? Here's what I've been feeling:
- super emotional. As in, DP commented that this has been my "worst month on Clomid, but at least we know it's working." I was very grumpy up until about 10dpo, mostly because I was convinced I wasn't pregnant.
- absolutely zero breast tenderness, still. I always get sore breasts before my period. Even my first month on Clomid, when the soreness didn't come until 11dpo, that was very late for me.
- cramps for the past few days. In fact, I keep running to the bathroom expecting to see blood because they feel exactly like the period-is-coming-any-minute kind, but I'm not even spotting. In fact, my cm doesn't even smell metallic, which it usually does the day that I begin spotting. HOWEVER, speaking of CM, I don't feel creamy the way I did when I got my last bfp. I'm watery the way I always am before my period starts.
- MEGA cramps after an orgasm yesterday. I mean, wth was that? I swear I cramped for two hours afterward, and I have no memory of that ever happening to me before without being accompanied by my actual period.
- odd rectal pressure at bedtime last night. No, I'm not constipated. In fact, I've been having either diarrhea or "loose stool" for most of my TWW, often twice per day instead of my usual one time in the morning.
- Most memorably, I was so nauseous at work on Friday (8dpo) that I couldn't even eat lunch. I'm an eater, so this does not happen to me. Then, on my way home at 5:30pm, I had a pounding headache, which I VERY rarely get. Because I had an empty stomach? Once I arrived home, I pretty much ate everything in sight because I was ravenous.
- bouts of insomnia, which can be normal for me...except for Friday night (after the day of nausea) into Saturday morning when I awoke at 1:30am and just stayed awake into the day! We're "early to bed, early to rise" people (usually in bed by 9 to get up at 5), so I had been sleeping since about 8:30, and our son ended up getting up at around 3, anyway, so I was up to hang out with him.
I think that's it. What's bothering me for a few reasons is that when I got my last bfp, I felt different. I felt pregnant. My nipples were sensitive, my ears were ringing, my cm smelled completely new and sweet. But I lost that one. I don't feel "pregnant" right now, but I've read a gazillion stories online about how plenty of women have no symptoms before bfp. Could this be it? Will I lose it again? Am I being ridiculous and will just start spotting later today?