Topic: trying to cope but finding it hard
So after trying 2.5 years we finally got pregnant back in November 2013 and miscarried. My due date would've been 2.5 months away and I'm finding it so hard to cope with lately. It made it even harder to accept because one doctor said the baby was fine/ahead, the next said it was over and I needed to accept I miscarried and etc. I was getting all different kinds of answers and after another ultrasound where I should have been 9 weeks and there was no baby I finally accepted it was over and that's when the D&C was scheduled. SUCKS doesn't even begin to describe the feeling but I don't know what else to say to try and describe it. When we started this journey, several people just got pregnant, gave birth and are now on number two being due in a few months and we can't even get one.
I can't even begin to say how crappy I feel. I'm so thankful because now we know I can get pregnant and we know timing that works but I think the counts were too low in the two vials we insemmed with this time around. And last month when we tried, we insemmed too early. I thought what I had was a +opk and we insemmed and found out we insemmed 48-72 hours too soon. Then I don't think this try worked and I feel like I'm never going to get the chance of being a mom. I would like 4-6 kids but I can't even seem to get one.
I don't even know how to begin to cope. I don't cry about it that often because I feel like no one cares and literally the only friends I have are on here. We don't have family to lean on so all you ladies are my support.
This month was our last try and I'm not feeling very positive about it which makes it even harder. I feel like I'm fighting a battle that can't be won. I wish we still had our baby here with us and I have literally been praying every night for our rainbow baby and I am just at a loss.
If love could've saved him/her they would've lived forever.