I use knowndonorregistry dot com . The site took some getting used to, but it's not bad. If you create a profile, just be sure to fill it out thoroughly, so donors can get an idea of who you are and what you are looking for. If you feel comfortable, add a few photos. If your profile has very little info, they will likely not message you or reply to your messages.
Their reasons for donating vary. There are even donors there who previously donated through a cryobank. Some say they didn't like not knowing what came of their donations. Some feel that cryobanks charge recipients too much and it's unfair. Most say they just want to help others have a family or that they've seen loved ones struggle with infertility. Some just feel the need to have their dna out there.
Cost wise...most will have you pay for the kit (about $75) and shipping (about $80). Some buy the shipping supplies in bulk because it makes them cheaper. So they will basically just eat that cost and have the recipient pay shipping. Why...again, that probably varies.
The donor we've chosen, as I said, covers all costs. He asks that if a pregnancy is achieved, the recipient donates $30 to a charity of her choice. I did not ask what his motivation is. Whether a donor has a "good" reason or just wants to "spread his seed" doesn't matter to us. The end result is the same.
There are also AI donors, if you do want to try that instead of shipping. Just be sure to only mark AI (and shipping, if you want) when setting up your profile. If you do not mark NI, donors are not allowed to contact you suggesting it. If they do, report them. If a donor agrees to AI and then tries to convince you to do NI when it's time, report them. They are strict about enforcing that rule and it will be taken care of.
As for safety, health wise, experienced donors are typically tested regularly and will show you proof of that. We have yet to have to ask for test results. They have always offered them freely right at the beginning of conversation. Current testing is a must for us. It is not overly cautious to require that. It is just being safe.
There ARE some great donors...you just have to find them. If using a KD is something you are interested in, it doesn't hurt to research it and check it out. In the end, if you feel most comfortable using a cryobank, there is certainly nothing wrong with that! Do what you and your wife feel is best for your family...that is all that matters.
Mom to P (13), J (11), E (6), and Q (born December 2017)