Topic: Dating after you've become a single mom by choice

I never thought I'd pick up dating, but there happens to be a guy that I really want to ask out for a date. He has similar interests as mine. However, he happens to be my child's gymnastics coach. Would you ever ask your child's coach out on a date? If he says no or even if he says yes I'll have to deal with seeing him every day at my child's practices. He also is a teacher and has a busy schedule like me. I don't even know if he has a girlfriend already. He hurries out of the gym and gymnastic meets, so he may have a girlfriend or maybe he's just done with a 12 hour work day and is ready to get home and have some time to himself.

Maybe he doesn't have any interest in taking on a woman who has 3 kids already. I'm really nervous because of the unknowns but really want to take that chance by asking him out. If you ask him out on a date and he says yes, do you not let your child know that you are going out on a date with his coach? Do you tell your children your going on a date or wait until it becomes more serious?


Re: Dating after you've become a single mom by choice

Maybe instead of coming right out and asking him for a date, you could say something like "So, what do you do when you're not coaching?" That way, if he is attached, he can let you know with a little less awkwardness. And if he's not, you can start up a flirty conversation.

Re: Dating after you've become a single mom by choice

I'm not great at flirting, but you could ask him if he'd like to join you to discuss balancing teaching, coaching, and a busy life over coffee or a snack.  That's a light way of asking him out that could be taken as 100% platonic if he wants to see it like that.

Re: Dating after you've become a single mom by choice

Definitely leave the kids out of it for a long time even if things seem to be working out he'd only be "mom's friend" until mom is absolutely sure there was a future with him. You deserve to be happy and it's lonely to spend your whole life alone. I am still best friends with a man I was going to marry when my adopted kids were young. If it was just "us" things were perfect but I had a lot of children and most were disabled. He was honest enough to admit..just 3 mo. before wedding and as we were getting ready to buy a house together... he just couldn't be a dad to them. My kids were devastated especially my oldest son who "we" name was the only one on legal papers simply because our state's laws had a long mandatory waiting time for newly married couples but believe me he was "our" son. I would say go for may regret it if you don't.