Topic: Just found out I have a half-sister...

So...wild story, my dad was a sperm donor in the 80's.  My whole family knew this but at the time it was completely annonymous.  For our kids, we chose an open donor because we wanted our kids to be able to find their donor if they wanted to....fast forward 30 years. My mom is super into geneology, always has been, and my dad and her did their DNA on ancestry.com.  Well, today, up popped a child match to my dad. 

YOU GUYS WHAT DO I DO?? I'm in such shock right now I don't even know how to feel.  My initial reaction was "THIS IS SO COOL! Now, I'm going to be able to connect with my kids on a whole different level because I keep in contact with their donor siblings parents and they're on the donor registry."

But now I'm like....oh dear lord...


Thoughts??

Lucky cycle #9: IVF Antagonist Cycle in February 2015! 5dt of a grade 4AA blastocyst and got my bfp 5dp5dt
Ruthie Evan born 10/19/2015 at 36+6

Re: Just found out I have a half-sister...

Did your dad just recently do the Ancestry report, or had he done it a while ago and just got notification of the new match? In any case, I'd probably wait a week before reaching out. That way, if the woman didn't already know she's donor-conceived, it would give her time to ask her parents about it (though my guess would be that she already knows).

Then, if she still hasn't sent a message by next week, send her a short message (or have your dad do so) stating that your dad was a sperm donor and you are open to contact.

Re: Just found out I have a half-sister...

Wow, so many emotions!!!! I've had visions of this happening as my family is also super into genealogy. My grandma was panicking because she doesn't know how to list my future child's donor in our family tree, lol.

I say sit on it a couple of days and let it seep in! And do some internet sleuthing in the meantime!!

Re: Just found out I have a half-sister...

I ended up making connections with relatives of both my parents half-siblings. Well, for my mom we know for sure it was her half-sibling (she was the result of an affair and knew the name of her biological father). For the one related through my dad's side, the genetics seem to indicate the connection is through a half-brother, and my dad was told growing up that he had 2 half-brothers, but he doesn't know their names or anything about them.

For the connection on my mom's side, the guy (a grandson of my mom's biological father) answered enough questions that I was able to confirm the connection, but he stopped responding to my messages after I explained the situation, so I took that to mean he didn't want further contact.

5 (edited by allie8573 2017-08-07 12:02:53)

Re: Just found out I have a half-sister...

The match just popped up! My dad did it knowing full well and I assume this girl knew full well what she was doing.  We will definitely wait to see if she wants to establish contact.  I am sure she never thought in a million years that she would find her donor.  I so hope she sends a message!  We are are such an open family and obviously my dad has grandchildren concieved through a donor so we are super understanding!

It's really exciting because from what I can see she is an only child with older parents.  My parents have 4 kids and are relatively young so I would love for her to get to know us, plus we are just a year apart!

Lucky cycle #9: IVF Antagonist Cycle in February 2015! 5dt of a grade 4AA blastocyst and got my bfp 5dp5dt
Ruthie Evan born 10/19/2015 at 36+6