I feel like it's been forever since I checked into this site, and I'm pleasantly surprised to recognize so many screen names!

I love seeing pictures of all the children, most of whom were little babies last time I was here. I need to check in more often!

Twins - third try at home, IUI done by myself
M - second try at home, ICI

3

(4 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

I think you trust your gut. I started dating some last year and never wanted any of them to meet my kids. The relationship was for me, not them, and I didn't want anything serious, therefore the children were irrelevant to my relationships with who I was seeing. Then I met M and things felt very different. Our no serious commitments thing kind of went out the window and we're now talking marriage. While I never felt one twinge for others to get involved with my kids, with M it seemed like the right and natural thing to do. I can't remember exact time spans but we had only been dating a few months when he started being around the kids.

I don't feel done, but luckily I use my brain instead of my heart for decisions like this one. Kids are freaking expensive. As a single mom, three is more than enough...and honestly, sometimes does feel like too much. I always wanted four or five and when M was a baby I mourned not being able to try again. As he has aged, I feel better about stopping at three, but that feeling of 'done' has never hit me.

As it turns out, I may get my four or five as I am in a serious relationship with someone who has two kids. We've talked some about more, but he's pretty set on being done. I could very easily be convinced to have another wink but I don't think it's in the cards, but like I said, as time goes by, I am more and more at peace with the decision to stop.

When the twins were about one I purchased ten vials of our donor for a sibling. I used seven vials to get pregnant with the twins and although I was worried that ten wasn't enough it was all I could afford. I just made sure I had a plan. Three tries at time with two vials each, and then six tries with a doctor with one vial. I decided that if I didn't get pregnant after eight tries it wasn't meant to be. For me, choosing another donor was not an option. Luckily I got pregnant with M on try two and was able to sell my remaining six vials to a donor family. I did regret selling those vials later thinking I wanted a fourth, but now with money as tight as it is...it was a good thing lol.

Both pregnancies at home with no medical involvement nor medications

Pregnancy one - 3rd try, home IUI, two vials, twins
Pregnancy two - 2nd try, home ICI, two vials, singleton

I recently had the mirena IUD placed and I love it!

I had to have surgery, so it was placed while I was under - so can't comment on the placement.

But I went from a miserable 7 day menstrual event with horrible cramping and extremely heavy bleeding to a 12-24h event with such a light flow, I almost could use a panty liner. I've had no pain, cramping and my BF hasn't said anything about feeling anything (although I have a few friends who did need trimming after initial placement). My only complaint...and it's slight is sometimes after...um...more rigorous sex, I find that I will often spot for a short time.

I haven't noticed any mood, weight or skin changes. And one more benefit, my migraines, which are very much triggered by hormones have been less frequent and severe.

Wow...what a sad excuse for a man.

I hope it works. I know when I was a teen I tried to remove my step father (who adopted me) from my birth certificate because he was an abusive a-hole. The judge wouldn't allow it unless someone else was added...even though I was almost 17 I believe. I had someone who was willing to step forward to be added just to help me, but I withdrew my case because it would have been more cost/hassle and I didn't want that other person to have to go out of his way.

Give it a few more weeks. BF'ing is not easy and there are so many hurdles to overcome at first. Add to that exhaustion and pregnancy hormones and it can be down right miserable. I would keep going until 6 weeks (the essential time according to may resources) and if at that time you still hate it, then move onto formula or something else that works for you. BR'ing really should be a mutually beneficial experience.

I think it's a very personal decision.

For me, it's a break it situation. I would not go on...but again, those are my feelings. In fact, while there are many reasons why baby four isn't in the cards for me, the biggest obstacle is no longer having the donor available. I have even joked that if the impossible happened and I got married, if he wanted more kids he would have to be okay using my donor - lol.

With the twins it was around 22 weeks. With M it was around 12 weeks.

12

(30 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

I'm in NC so the child has to be 5 at the time school starts.

I grew up in Canada where it looked at calendar year. There was also a Junior and Senior Kindergarten. Junior Kindergarten started at age 4, so there were kids at the age of 3 being sent to school. The school system is set up a little differently though and I would have had no issue sending Max to school at the age of three there.

Since M has a December birthday he is another two years out before starting school. I wish that was different, but more for financial reasons. The thought of two more years of daycare payments boggle my mind. OF course, knowing how ass backwards the school system is here, it's for the best that M wait until the following year.

About 16-18 weeks with my first pregnancy, but it was twins. Around the same time with my second pregnancy. I have read many times that leaking during pregnancy isn't an indicator of production once baby is here.

14

(18 replies, posted in Pregnancy and Babies)

Such a cute picture. I miss my twin babies.

I'm confused at why you're not sure if they're identical or not. I know you only put back one embryo but in 18-35% of identical twins they have separate placentas. Maybe I'm misunderstanding something though.

Either way, congrats and they will be here in no time!

15

(11 replies, posted in Trying to Conceive)

Another SMBC here who got pregnant at home twice. It's so much easier than you think. If you don't have any reason to think you will have problems conceiving at home, I would go that route for 3-6 cycles before seeing a RE.

I'm not sure who said that scar tissue doesn't stretch...I've seen many patients with abdominal scars that have stretched from different reasons.

I'm not sure if it's the type of scar, skin, age, whatever, but I wouldn't make the blanket statement that a scar won't stretch.

I care for cancer patients, many of whom have had an abdominal surgery of some sort. Many times, late in a disease process they develop ascities which is accumulation of fluid in the abdomen. Many of these patients will take on abdominal girths similar to full term pregnancy...and over a few weeks vs a few months and I have NEVER seen anyone with a scar have complications related to this.

17

(18 replies, posted in Pregnancy and Babies)

I have a good friend with seven children. Her last five, I believe, were all born at home with a midwife. She never induces and all her pregnancies go 40-44 weeks. She's a smart cookie, teaching a lot of women's health courses and a registered doula so I'm pretty confident she knows when she conceived. She is very convinced that the baby comes when ready. She hasn't had any complication with any of her children and they have all been born healthy.

I've never made it past 39 weeks and I would never chose to go further. I have read reports that a baby born after 42 weeks is at risk for as many complications as a baby born before 38 weeks. While I wouldn't feel comfortable, I know there are a large group of women, midwives etc that believe going until your body naturally goes into labor is the best thing for all.

First pregnancy
3 attempts. First attempt was horribly timed though, so I don't like to count it

Second pregnancy
2 attempts.

Same donor. Both at home insemination with no monitoring or meds.

19

(9 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

Another one for personality wink Out of my three, K threw the worst tantrums. Once in awhile M can come in a close second. S hardly threw tantrums at all.

20

(10 replies, posted in Pregnancy and Babies)

All three of mine were speech delayed. A child who does not have several intentional words by one qualifies for a delay diagnosis. Now that doesn't mean its not something that will correct itself or that it needs further attention, but it is something to pay attention to.

My daughter caught up naturally and didn't need any services. Both my boys receive speech services. S from 3yrs to present, and M from 14m to present. I had M pushed through the system at a much earlier age because of his brothers difficulties. I believe every state has a program that provides free screening to children 3 and under. You call them and get scheduled for an eval. They will let you know their thoughts or concerns if there are any. You can instigate the eval at any time.

Having been through this twice, I also push earlier detection and intervention. You know your child best. Maybe just wait a few months more and see where his speech goes before making any decisions on whether or not you want to investigate further.

HG both pregnancies. Boy/girl and then boy.

22

(5 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

Since she has already slightly reacted she might also have the 'classic' MMR vaccine reaction in about a week. S had this when he got his MMR. About one week after his vaccine he developed a high fever (>104) for several days, lethargy, some rash, and looked like he was miserable. There were no other s/s of illness. On day three I brought him into the peds office and they said this was a very typical MMR reaction. With the high fever there is also a small risk of febrile seizure.

After a few days he was fine. No seizure and he didn't have a repeat reaction when he received the vaccine again at four.

For the most part to reduce the risks you should have good prenatal care, healthy diet, low/moderate exercise, plenty of rest...all the usual stuff wink

I weighed much more than you, but I'm also taller at 5'10". I had twins my first pregnancy. Since I was blessed with HG I actually lost 60lbs. I wasn't able to BF for more than a few weeks, so I didn't have any weight loss benefit. My doc with the twins was not very supportive of my weight and didn't have much concern over my weight loss. I ended up seeing one of her partners more and switched to him after the twins were born. I was the 'poster child' for gestational diabetes and increased blood pressure but I had neither, in fact my blood pressure was awesome my entire pregnancy.

With my second pregnancy I started at about the same weight. I had HG but it resolved some around 22 weeks so I did gain weight. This time I had a very supportive doc, who while she encouraged me and never made me feel bad, she was open and honest about the risks having a pregnancy would bring. Again, my BP stayed low and I didn't have any issues with diabetes. I was able to have a near natural VBAC and had no complication related to weight at all.

With M I BF'd for 2 years and actually pumped enough to donate and feed another baby. Again, no weight loss benefit for me sad

There are definite risks going into a pregnancy being obese...but if you are educated and know how to avoid, minimize and/or recognize them it shouldn't stop you from going forward.

With the twins, the US a few days before estimated the babies at 5.5lbs and 6.5lbs. They were both EXACTLY that.
With M, the morning of my induction the US indicated he would be over 9lbs. He was 8lbs even.

26

(26 replies, posted in Pregnancy and Babies)

((HUGS))

27

(30 replies, posted in Trying to Conceive)

Definitely get a second opinion and have a good talk with the gynecological oncologist. I can't imagine being told I would have to have a hysterectomy before completing my family, however as an oncology nurse of 13 years, endometrial cancer is not something to play with. Hopefully this next doctor will be able to clearly give you all the risks and treatment options. I hope you are surrounded by support and you can lean on those you love in the upcoming weeks.

3 NW babies from donor 733  big_smile  big_smile  big_smile
Two in 2006 and one in 2009

It's funny...when I first started here almost EVERYONE was a NW client. Definitely not that way anymore.

29

(17 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

The advice here is great! Don't worry so much wink I flew to Texas a few years ago by myself with three little ones. It all went fine. We brought lots of stuff for distraction but the twins entertained themselves and M slept.

30

(24 replies, posted in Pregnancy and Babies)

I'm a mom of 'holy crap you must be joking' twins wink I didn't use any meds, did home IUI and twins do not run in my family.

Like other multiple mamas have said, while I wouldn't trade them for the world, babies should come one at a time. Expense is a huge stress, along with the increased risks that a multiple pregnancy can bring. My pregnancy with the twin cost almost 100K and that was before delivery. Luckily I went to term (36 weeks for multiples) with no NICU or prolonged hospital stay. For childcare I ended up using a nanny because daycare would have cost just as much and with two (or more) babies illness and other issues would have caused me job loss with absences.

So while I'm not saying that you shouldn't use meds or that I wish I didn't have twins...I always cringe a little when people say they want or are trying for twins. Obviously if you need the meds to get pregnant, the risk of multiples isnt going to sway you from your decision and shouldn't smile

31

(31 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

I'm from NC too smile

Most daycares provide pre-k for not much more than you would be paying for care. From my understanding, the pre-k programs they are talking about are the ones that are subsidized in one way or another. When the twins were younger, I tried to enroll them in the school run pre-k. S had an IEP which in the past automatically gave him a spot. In the past, they would also allow a twin automatic entrance if one qualified. Neither of my kids got in because there were so many applicants. Children from low income homes, homes with non-english speaking and children with moderate to severe delays were given the spots. S was placed on a waiting list, but was never called.

Since they were denied through the pre-k program, I applied for the More at Four program which also looked at childrens needs, but there were many more sites and more emphasis was placed on financial levels. Since at that time I was only working part time, they were both accepted and had a great school year. The More at Four program was almost completely cut the year after the twins went. The current pre-k program has been given an overhaul like you mention.

But, there are other options. M is in a daycare now that offers pre-k. I work full time so there is no way I qualify for any program now. It will cost slightly more than I pay now, but nowhere near the prices you stated.

32

(9 replies, posted in Pregnancy and Babies)

Zofran shouldn't make you sleepy, but everyone responds to meds differently.

Biggest side effects to watch for are headaches and constipation - horrible constipation to where I would tell you to go ahead and start the stool softeners now vs later.

I loved the Snap and Go stroller. I am so upset when the twins grew out of the infant car seats. It was very compact and turned, navigated, rolled very easily!! You don't need to keep the babies in a carseat but when you have to go somewhere and both babies are sleeping, it would have killed me to move them from a carseat to a stroller and risk waking them up!

34

(13 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

In my case, I don't think environment has played much of a part in my children's eating habits.

S LOVES fruits and vegetables. In fact, when he was young and those silly hidden valley commercials would come on, S would ask me if we could go there. He will try anything once and usually likes most of what he tries.

M is pretty typical for 3. He's not very adventurous and can be picky, but he is overall a decent eater. He won't necessarily try anything put in front of him and often times just the look of something will turn him away.

K is HORRIBLE!!! She won't eat anything. From the age of 12 months to about 3 I kept a list of things she would eat. For about 18 months her list had less than 10 items on it and it included beverages, foods and condiments. I later found out that she would have actually qualified for food therapy. Her list has grown but she is still terribly picky. She makes her own supper most nights - because while I will alter what I'm making to a degree, I do not make a whole other meal for her. She is on multiple vitamin and calcium supplements.

I have talked to a few people about K and while they give me great suggestions, nothing has drastically changed. She had excessive vomiting as a baby in addition to mind numbing colic. She also tends to have a slight sensitivity to milk products. There is some link to babies who have severe colic and later in development refusing milk (dairy sensitivity) and fruits (high acidity) so that might play a role in K's eating habits now.

I had hyperemesis gravidarum so my experience is probably not too helpful to you. Most people, multiples or not, start to feel better around 12-16 weeks so maybe you'll get some relief soon. There is nothing more miserable than nausea and vomiting.

I have always used the term donor. I think since my kids have heard it since before they could talk, they've always been fine with that.

37

(8 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

M was a pacifier baby and had a significant speech delay. As soon as he started speech therapy our first goal was to ditch the pacifier. If a child keeps it in their mouth, their tongue and teeth are kept from a natural position and speech can be greatly affected. He started speech in March and the pacifier was gone by July. His speech did improve some when it was gone, and his teeth, which were starting to gap in front, have straightened.

Now, I will say that S, who never used a pacifier, was also speech delayed and received services, so I don't think the pacifier was the cause for the delay, but definitely a contributing factor.

I conceived M on April 1st and was due December 18th. He was born the 10th smile

Congrats!

Both my boys have this issue. With S, who is seven, he's reminded that he needs to stop, or go to his room. It's not something that's punished or looked negatively upon, just not something we do in the middle of the living room. With M, who is three, I ignore. Any time I mention it, it just brings attention to it and he does it more because he thinks it funny.

I have a friend who has 7 children and is as natural as can be. Most of her pregnancies hit the 44 week mark. I think she's crazy but all her babies have been born (many at home) healthy.

I have read studies though that say risks to baby after 42 weeks gestation are similar to those who are born before 37 weeks gestation.

I am so miserable and impatient, I have never gone past 39 weeks

41

(20 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

Weight was more of a factor for me. I am very overweight and I didn't want my kids to get that from both sides. The first thing I did was cross off any overweight donor based on height. I am tall - 5'10" and I prefered a donor who was above 6'. My donor is 6'6".

The height things has paid off with S. He is in the 95+ percentile for height
K apparently doesn't take after either of us because she is average in the 50th percentile for height.
M is also fairly average, but S didn't sprout until about 4 so I'm waiting to see with him.


As for weight...all three of my guys are slim - technically underweight for their height  big_smile

Never. And I am one of those special ones who suffered terribly. 60lb weight loss, zofran pump, around the clock oral zofran, meclizine, pepcid, PICC line, IV fluids, 5 hospitalizations....I could go on.

I don't know what state she lives in, but here if your baby tests positive for marijuana...you don't get to take it home.

43

(21 replies, posted in Pregnancy and Babies)

Yep, I was told 10 families as well. It's impossible to track and I imagine for every 10 that report there is another 5 out there who don't. In my donor group we have 9 families (16 kids), one of which we know didn't report. There is also the possibility of pregnancy loss after reporting which would also impact final numbers.

There are many things I love about NW and this is one of them. They are one of the strictest out there. Many limit per population - like 1 per every 200,000 people per geographic area. How on earth can you reliably track that!? I have an online friend whose donor group has over 70 offspring...and thats just counting those who are within the online group!

I conceived M at home using IUI vials and just doing an ICI procedure.

I know a few people with this. Most are elderly and don't have any significant treatment due to age. In the younger group, surgery will probably be needed, although in some cases the muscles strengthens on their own. I imagine that since he is so young and having the problem already, that surgery will be needed eventually.

Sorry you are dealing with this!

I also had it. I think it was around 28-30 weeks when it resolved. I had a vaginal delivery with no problems.

It was the hardest thing I ever did. I had never been away from the twins overnight. I had actually planned to have the twins at the hospital with me for the most part, maybe even delivery...but M was born the year of H1N1 and everyone was freaking out leading to all children 18yo and younger being banned from hospitals. This made things even worse, because not only was I away from them, but now I couldn't even see them for my entire stay. I was discharged just over 24h after delivery to get home to the twins. If I could have spent more time with them, I probably would have stayed another day.

My parents were able to watch them, but not until after a week into December. It worked out, but I was always a little freaked out at what I would do if I went early.

48

(8 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

mel wrote:

If I could afford 3 iPads, my kids would've gotten those for Christmas. They LOVE their Kindle Fires, though!

The same here! I noticed that we both grew by three Kindle Fires this Christmas wink

49

(9 replies, posted in Parenting and Life)

The twins were converted at 18 months and did really well. I did it for the same reasons, S was actually climbing out of his crib and into K's crib. I never had any trouble with the transition.

M...well he has never been in a crib...I'm still working on getting him out of my bed...sigh

Why can't someone come to your home with your handicapped husband there?

I care for my elderly aunt with dementia. She has lived in my home for almost 7 years. She is 87 and while my nanny doesn't have to provide for her care, she is responsible for making her take her pills and then just being in the house for general supervision. My aunt, is essentially why, I've always required a nanny come to the house. It's been wonderful for my children, but I couldn't ever consider daycare as an alternative because my aunt cannot be left unsupervised for more than a few hours.

My main nanny is a grown woman, but I have had teenagers fill in for her. I make sure when interviewing that they know the deal and if they are uncomfortable then I don't use them.

Obviously, your husbands situation maybe different, just throwing that out there.