Not that I want others to be in a rough situation, but it's good to hear I'm not alone in stressing and somewhat struggling with my options:-).
Currently my wife and I each have a sister that lives in town. Both adore their niece, but my sister is a single mother and in a stressful and highly demanding military position and since we all know how unpredictable childbirth is we can't expect or securely rely on her. A's sister may be able to come to our house and be here with Olivia while we are away. We have close friends in town that have also offered to take O, but both have demanding work schedules and are more offering as a last resort option. There are others that have offered, but no one that I truly want to rely on or feel comfortable knowing that Olivia will be with for a prolonged amount of time.
Like cocolibby mentioned we really didn't or don't want our family members coming to stay here for a prolonged amount of time, actually none outside of staying with O while baby boy is being born. A's mom was planning on coming to our home, caring for Olivia and our dog and while she would be here to meet our son, she had planned on staying at A's sister's for the duration of her visit. We also really want the alone time with our children and not the stress of having a guest in our home. Not to mention we have a smaller home and A's mom is happy to stay elsewhere
I guess at this point I am really leaning on my sister in law as our go to person. She is very familiar with our home, set-up, and Liv's routines. This is another big thing-- we were really hoping to have someone that is familiar with the how and what of Liv's day, meals, and so forth. Other worries of mine were thinking of my mom( who I love and loves Olivia very much) coming as a very last resort and all would go haywire! Not that my mom can't handle a child, it's just that she has very different ways of doing things and I know things would be quite stressful for her, Olivia, our dog, and therefore us as well. Just thinking of the chaos that would ensue makes me nervous.
We obviously want our daughter to be with a trusted and reliable loved one of ours. It goes without saying that we will not leave her with someone we don't trust. Seriously if I had to I would have my midwife set up a homebirth for us, but we would still need childcare in our home and a homebirth is not my first preference. We also like the idea of someone who knows and can come to our home and can also feed our dog. We sound pretty demanding, but being at our home will be easier for whoever because Liv feels safe and secure here and we also feel that she is safe and secure here. Do you guys have those friends and family members that have very difficult homes to have your child in? We just finished some extended visits at places with scary stairs, lots and lots of untouchables, dogs not accustomed to small children, etc. These vists away really made me revisit our options and what may be best.