Topic: Help Please!

So this is my second try using NW and I have a pretty good feeling that it didn't work again. Well I confided in a male friend that I was trying to have a baby and we got to talking about the process and prices. He ended up offering to help.. as in give me his sperm. That's fine and dandy except.. we aren't really close friends. We used to work together at Wal-Mart and say hi to eachother every time Im there. He isn't the best looking guy and has a major need for braces.. he is also a pot smoker which I do not condone. Is it bad that I instantly think about how I don't want him to be the father of my child? Am I being selfish or just plain rude in thinking this way? How do I tell him no after such a sweet offer? I need help!

TTC #1: ICI - August 2013= BFN
TTC #2: ICI - September 2013= BFN
TTC #3: IVF-ICI (2)- October 2013=BFN
TTC #4: IVF-ICI - August 2015=BFN

Re: Help Please!

I would just say "Thanks so much for the offer, it was really nice of you, but I don't want to complicate our friendship".  There is nothing wrong with not wanting him to be the biological other half of your child.

Re: Help Please!

There is so much to think about if using a known donor...legal issues...custody issues...health issues...get a good lawyer to draw up papers if you think you may want to proceed...but if you are having negative thoughts now I would say go with your gut feeling...I had an opportunity a while back to use a known donor but backed out too. I just love the safety of using NW.

Re: Help Please!

Marijuana is an unknown factor in impacting fertility... I wouldn't risk it with all the other KD issues like old mama brought up.

I think you can just say "it's so sweet of you to offer, but I'm going to stick with an anonymous donor"

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Re: Help Please!

Using a KD can complicate things.  I didn't go that route myself.  If I did, I would make sure he was all that I wanted in a donor before I began to undertake the necessary legal steps for a KD.

Re: Help Please!

Just think about the state forcing you to hand your child over to that man against your will! A judge ordering you to pump for your newborn baby so the druggie can have over nights. You are not being rude in telling him NO. He is being crazy for asking! Not in this day and age! When you have your little precious angel in your arms and behold the delicate innocence. You will know that no man, no judge, no one should ever be able to keep you from protecting your baby as you see fit! It is not worth it.

A simple no to the man will suffice. I will add that I am not against known donors, I would just need to feel 100%.

I got pregnant from $150. IFV vial and a have a nice credit card bill because it took more than one month to conceive (actually I think 5). Worth every second of the journey and every penny it took. Don't worry. This frozen stuff works!

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Re: Help Please!

I second what all the other ladies said when it comes to a known donor. It's very complicated. A donor from a reputable bank may cost more, but you're paying for protection. Protection for you and your child from disease, legal issues, and a world of hurt.  If you choose to use a known donor, you need to pay for a lawyer and a lot of disease screening/genetic testing. The specimens should then be stored and tested for disease again after six months.  By the tome you're done footing the bill, may cost more than using a donor from a bank.

Re: Help Please!

I have used a known donor, twice, and can tell you this.  If you have ANY reservations, don't do it.  Period.  Thank him for his offer, but just don't go there if you are not a thousand and ten percent sure.  And then be more sure.

http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt125c22.aspx

Need to update a ticker, Silas Anthony Jordon born Oct 11, 2013.  6th baby, so much love!