Topic: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

All I have ever wanted was to be a mom. Nothing else really has ever been constant in my life except for that thought. I met my beautiful wife shortly after coming out in 2007. I must admit that the scariest part of realizing I was a lesbian was thinking about how much harder it was going to have a family. But I wouldn't trade my wife for anything. She is my rock and I love her more than I could ever express. Even though it will be devastating if we are never able to bring a baby into our family, I know our love will pull me through.

We were married in 2009, still being pretty young we knew we needed some time to establish our marriage and try to get our financial house in order before we started TTC. While our finances still continue to be a bit worrisome, we're in a much better place than we were.

We started our journey to parenthood in 2012. I have to say part of me thought we were going to be that magical couple that got pregnant our first try. Needless to say we did not. We couldn't afford more than 3 tries that year so we waited to try again in 2013. 2013 came and went and after more tries, nada.

My heart breaks a little every time I hear the news that one of my friends or family members is pregnant. While of course I am happy for them, it's hard to be confronted with monthly facebook pictures of positive pregnancy tests and ultrasound photos. But then I have to remember, that I don't know what journey that associates of mine have been on in trying to conceive, maybe they had only tried a time or two, but maybe they are like me, anxiously waiting for their dreams to come true.

I was diagnosed with PCOS several years ago, and have been on Glumetza for about 2 years now which has helped me become more regular. This time around we switched everything, doctors, sperm bank, donor the works. My old doctor had me on 100mg of Clomid days 5-9, this doctor has me on days 3-7 to try to make me ovulate earlier as it is not untypical for me to not ovulate until days 22-30.

I'm trying to remain calm, it's funny because my other cycles I was a wreak from the very beginning. I haven't really thought much about this one until today. I don't know if part of me has resolved myself to the fact that I might not get pregnant or whether I'm just more "zen" about this time. I don't know, I just hope that this is our year. We will celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary next month and I can't think of a better gift.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Waiting for the big O, I was thinking that since I took the Clomid days 3-7 this month instead of 5-9 that I would be going much earlier, but so far I really haven't had much mucus (which I tend to get a lot of) and no positive OPK yet on CD 13. My wife asked me last night if I was "over preparing" and I'm beginning to wonder if I am. I did the Clomid and I take Glumetza (a form of Metformin) with a prenatal vitamin, Vitex and Vitamin C. I have also been doing the Circle + Bloom IVF/IUI Fertility Meditations each day and had Reiki on Sunday. I'm scheduled for a round of Acupuncture this evening. I've been doing all of this in the hopes that I would be more relaxed and less anxious, and for the most part I think it has helped, but I do feel a bit anxious, waiting to ovulate and hoping that I won't be disappointed yet again.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well I surged yesterday afternoon! I'm so glad that I started testing in the afternoon as my Clearblue Monitor has yet to "peak". But I had two different ovulation tests show positive yesterday afternoon paired with EWCM since Saturday. I'm getting really nervous now, as I keep self doubting whether it is too late now, maybe the tests were wrong. I swear I don't think I have ever doubted myself or felt lower self esteem in my whole life then when I'm doing fertility treatments. Trying to calm myself down though, praying for the best. Really really hoping this time is it. I was watching the Today Show and Savannah announced her pregnancy, and I found myself tearing up. IUI is at 11, hoping for some luck of the Irish!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well here is some LUCK to you!  I too was married in 2009 and have been TTC ever since!  IT's a HARD journey but I am hopeful it will be worth it!  I will celebrate my 5 year anniversay on a cruise at the end of the month then we will begin again.  I had a mc in December so these past few months have been really difficult...I think the beach and some sun will do me good!  GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: 37 DH: 51 - Married 03/2009
TTC #1 IUI October 2012 BFN
Took a break to save $$$
TTC #2 IUI October 2013 (Clomid, menopur injections) BFP!!  MC at 10 weeks
TTC #3.. IUI April, BFN
July ready to start again...

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

natandjer09 wrote:

Well here is some LUCK to you!  I too was married in 2009 and have been TTC ever since!  IT's a HARD journey but I am hopeful it will be worth it!  I will celebrate my 5 year anniversay on a cruise at the end of the month then we will begin again.  I had a mc in December so these past few months have been really difficult...I think the beach and some sun will do me good!  GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you and best wishes to you as well!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

6 (edited by ana8284 2014-03-18 03:11:43)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So yesterday was interesting, there better be a kid in there haha! So I'm hoping the timing was right, as there was no U/S or bloodwork. I got into the room with my little paper bag of special sauce and the nurse practioner was like is it okay if the doctor has a student with him, so I'm like sure fine whatever. So after I disrobe and get on the table, in walks the doctor, 2 students, the NP and of course my DW is in this like 9x9 room haha. So then we start, the first cath was cracked so the NP had to leave and get another. Then she comes back and they can't get the cath into my cervix. So the doc is like I have to bend it to the right angle so he takes it out and proceeds to repeat this like 4 times before he decides he needs a different speculum. So the NP leaves again and I get to be cranked open again, then he tries like 4 more times before I have to get my cervix pinched. Finally success! Needless to say yesterday an adventure! But he put the sample under the microscope and it was a really good specimen. Here is hoping for a BFP in 2 weeks!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So I'm at 3DPI today and I am utterly exhausted. I have not been able to focus at work all day (of course some of that has to do with excessive googling) but I have yawned probably 1,000 times today and got a solid 9 hours of sleep last night. Part of me feels like I might be getting sick though as I've had a bit of a runny nose and sneezes all day today. I have acupuncture after work today, so I'm hoping that will get me back on track a little. I also plan on starting a natural progesterone cream tonight as with the PCOS I'm not convinced my levels are where they need to be. My nipples have been very sensitive Tuesday afternoon, but I'm thinking that is more to do with the Clomid and ovulation as I have had that with most of my medicated cycles. At least I don't feel nearly as crazy as I do when we use the trigger shot! That thing is the devil for symptom spotters like myself! Anyway, here's to a quick 11 days and hopefully a happy ending!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

8 (edited by ana8284 2014-03-24 04:59:22)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Today is the 7th anniversary of our first date.  smile we are going to go to the place we had dinner on our first date then out to a movie. This morning I went to brunch with some of my college sorority sisters then to a blissful reiki session. The distractions are very much appreciated. I haven't been overly crazy so far during the TWW but I can't say I don't wonder everytime I feel something a little strange in my body. This morning was a bit weird though as I was getting out of the shower I had some mile chest pain on my left side that kind of went under to my armpit. I laid down in bed for about 20 min and it went away but it was definitely different. It's so funny I was thinking today that the TWW is the only time in a woman's life when you pray to have nausea, sore breasts & cramps!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

7dpi today, last night I had a weird pinching right above my pubic area, it only lasted about 10 minutes and would go away if I laid down, but it was odd. I'm really hoping all of these things are good signs and not just side effects of the progesterone cream I'm using. I'm only using 1/4 of a teaspoon a day so I would hope it wouldn't give me noticible side effects but you never know! This morning I've had some cramping and low back pain, which could be PMS but it seems way to early for that. I don't normally get any PMS symptoms until a day or 2 before the witch arrives. I seriously hope I'm not reading to much into this. I'm very cautiously optimistic at this point, I go back and forth from getting kind of excited thinking this might be the time, and thinking that I'm definitely out. Trying to keep the faith, hopefully this will be our time!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well I caved and tested today at 9dpi with an internet cheapie...BFN. I have had a couple little "signs" the past couple of days, but nothing really of note. I've actually been feeling better physically. Emotionally is another story. As most of you reading this know, it is excrutiating to want something so bad and have so little control over obtaining it. Being a mom is the only thing I have ever really wanted, and it feels so far out of reach. I know it is still early but I just feel like I'm going to be disappointed again. I don't know how many more times I can go through this. hmm

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Feeling a lot better emotionally today, I woke up convinced I was going to get a BFP, but unfortunately got a BFN instead. I'm not sweating it though (for now). There is definitely either something cooking in there or I am in for the mother of all periods, my hormones are so up and down! I'm still running warm which is unusual for me, my average temperatures at any given point is usually in the 97s. I don't chart temperatures or anything, but out of curiosity took my temp when I woke up this morning before I got out of bed and it was at 98.3, and I've been running even hotter during the day usually around the 99-99.2 mark. I'm trying to remain hopeful but realistic at the same time, knowing that it could very well be the progesterone cream that's causing me to be so warm, but it's definitely unusual!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well emotions were good yesterday, today not so much. BFN with a FRER today, and feeling like AF is going to hit like a ton of bricks any minute now even though I'm not due for her until Monday. I had my first (and hopefully only) meltdown this morning. I was watching the Today show this morning when they were going through the audience outside when a couple announced their pregnancy, I IMMEDIATELY lost it. I almost choked on my banana from crying so hard. Forgive my rant for a second and this definitely has nothing to do with the couple on the Today show by any means, but I work in a hospital, one that has a huge labor and delivery unit and I live in a pretty large city. So I've always been a strong believer that "everything happens for a reason", but TTC has definitely pushed my faith on that belief when on the news (and sometimes here in the hospital) I'm forever hearing about children being abused or even killed by the parents that are supposed to love them. Why is it that people who have no business having children are able to pop them out like there is no tomorrow and then folks who actually want children more than anything can't have them?!?!?! Then in the hospital I see 13 and 14 year olds having babies and not that some of them don't grow up to be excellent mothers, it just seems like they have all of the time in the world, why now? I just don't know what is wrong with me other than the fact I can't try every month or have the ability to have a surprise baby. My grandmothers on both sides each had 4 kids, my mom (while there were only 2 full term pregnancies) has been pregnant 5 times, all of my aunts and uncles on both sides have kids, what is wrong with me? Sorry I'm just having a bit of a pity party this morning, I'm kind of glad I had my breakdown though it made me feel a little better. Just waiting for the witch to arrive so I can get the rest of these hormones out of my system.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well BFN this morning followed immediately by AF. Definitely out this month. I was hoping that this would be our time, but unfortunately that was not the case. Feeling a bit down, but trying to keep my spirits up. Thursday we are going to an LGBT forum for adoption hosted by a local adoption agency. I'm not against adoption by any means, I have so much respect for those who have chosen to give their babies a better life by giving them up for adoption, and so much respect for those who adopt. I just don't know if I'm ready to give up my dream of going through the whole process of pregnancy, feeling my baby move for the first time, all of those rights of passage as a woman preparing for motherhood. Realistically though I know that it may never happen for me and I have to explore other options, and I'm hoping that this workshop will give me a better insite.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Having a hard time emotionally today. I think yesterday I was okay because I was relieved just to have AF start and for the waiting game to be over as I knew she was coming. Today however, I've felt on the brink of tears all morning. I really don't want to stay at work, but I also can't just leave because I'm emotional. A friend that I have been going through the TTC journey with got her BFP last month and they just had their first ultrasound/heartbeat check yesterday. On the one hand I'm absolutely elated for her and her partner, they are going to be fantastic parents and I'm so excited for them. On the other hand, reading about how wonderful hearing their little one's heartbeat for the first time was broke my heart knowing how badly I want that for myself, and knowing that even though it could definitely still happen and I am trying to keep hopeful about it, realistically it may never happen. I really want the whole thing, the ultrasounds, the kicks all of it. While in the end of course the important thing is having a healthy baby whether it comes from my body or someone else's, but having this yearning inside of you that can't be filled is just so incredibly hard and hard to explain to someone who doesn't feel the same. My wonderful wife of course wants a family and has been so supportive, but she has never felt the urge to carry a child, so it's hard for her to truly understand what I am feeling. I've thought about going to a RESOLVE group meeting in my area, but there are no other lesbian couples in my local group, and through my facebook group i'm a part of they all seem like wonderful people, I just don't know how accepted I would be in the group being that my journey is so much different that most of theirs. I know that sounds weird, but I guess when you have a straight couple who tries the traditional way month after month with no success and then undergoes treatment with no success and then you have me in there crying because my partner doesn't have a penis and my few (in comparisson) tries aren't working, I guess I just feel like I'm not worthy of the support is what it boils down to. I did some research today and found a therapist who specializes in infertility, I've sent her an e-mail for more information and to hopefully set up an appointment. I just need some help figuring out how to get through this, I thought it would get easier with time, but unfortunately I think it has gotten harder.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Spirits are a little better now. I'm still super hormonal though which I don't know whether is a good thing or a bad thing. I keep trying to think, "well maybe the more hormonal you are before ovulation, the better the results will be" but I know deep down inside that is probably not correct so I'm just driving myself crazy. We went to our adoption forum last week and it definitely helped ease some of the anxieties I had about adopting, but I still left anxious, especially when they told us that the quickest way to adopt is to locate a birth mother on your own, which just makes me so worried about rejection and heartbreak all over again. One of my co-workers asked me the other day if we had ever considered a known donor, which we had until the donor we were talking with (a friend) made a comment that one day I could carry a child for him. After he said that the known donor discussion went off of the table. Not because I was offended or anything, but I knew that I would never be able to give up a child I had carried in my body for 9 months and it wasn't then fair of me to ask him to do something I wasn't willing to do. But when she asked me, she asked because she has a male friend who she had had this discussion with before that has no interest in actually having a child but was open to donating so that someone else could. This peaked my interest some especially since we would have no direct relationship with him, but considering that he would still be interested in possibly doing this, this is quite a long ways down the road if we even did it. As I'm sure most of you reading this know, it's just so difficult to want something so badly and have so little control over the outcome. I'm just tring to remain positive that one day, I'll have a healthy baby in my arms to call our own.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Tomorrow I will be participating in the "Race to Parenthood 5k" to help raise money for couples in my area to have IVF performed. I know it will be a bittersweet time for me, even the title brings up a flood of emotions, the "Race to Parenthood". To me that means so many things, the race to the first BFP, the race to hearing that beautiful heartbeat for the first time, the race to feeling my baby move for the first time, and of course the race to seeing my baby's face for the first time. On the flip side it means to me the race to figure out why there has been 7 months of disappointment, the race to finding the perfect time to insemenate, the race to getting older and less likely to get pregnant... the race to letting go and moving on to another avenue. In the meantime, I am looking forward to helping someone else potentially reach their dream of parenthood and if even 1 of the 7 featured couples is able to reach that goal, this will have all been worth it.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

That race sounds amazing and emotional! I am glad there are things like this exist to help.

TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
TTC #2: since June 2016...

18 (edited by ana8284 2014-04-12 08:57:56)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Finished the race a couple of hours ago. It was a lot more emotional than I anticipated. As I looked around I saw a sea of people dressed in their team colors there to cheer on their loved ones. Some wore shirts that said "Future Aunt", "Future Grandma" etc. I found myself tearing up more often than I would like to admit, but all in all it was a great morning and I wish nothing but the best for the seven couples from today's race.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well we celebrated our 5th anniversary on the 22nd, we weren't pregnant obviously but ironically I ovulated during our anniversary trip, it was a late ovulation between days 22-24. I say between because my monitors/tests are were so inconsistent again this month!

So late on day 20 I started getting some EWCM, which increased until day 22. In the early afternoon on the 21st, I had a positive OPK on a Wondofo strip, but I had tested that morning with my Clearblue Monitor and it was still only on "High", I tested the following day after my positive OPK which was day 23 still only a "high" reading but my test line on the Wondofo strip was not nearly as dark. So then finally on the morning of day 24 my monitor turned to "peak". The same thing happened last month when we inseminated but I'm pretty sure we had good timing with it because AF came right on time 14 days after my IUI. My breasts have been super sensitive this ovulation, they have just stopped hurting 6 days after ovulation, I guess my hormones are still high from last go around with the Clomid even though I didn't take any this month. My emotions have also been super crazy, commercials, happy moments you name it I find myself getting teary eyed.

I'm going to push for ultrasound monitoring next month with my RE as obviously my tests are inconsistent. I just feel like I would feel better having a more accurate knowledge of when I'm going to ovulate. It's going to definitely hurt our wallet, but it's also hurting our wallet potentially shooting in the dark.

I just pray this is our year, I know things happen when they are supposed to and it's in God's time not my own but it's just so hard to continue without knowing, but I guess that is the point of patience and faith.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

A little bummed today, I called my doctor's office to talk about monitoring next cycle and the possibility of injectibles and found out that my doctor's office lost their grant funding for injectibles and now they are $800 a shot! I switched to this doctor specifically because I knew if we got to the point of wanting to try the injectibles route that they had the grant and the injectibles were $10 a shot. They are apparently trying to get the grant back, but it doesn't look like injectibles will be an option for me at this point. Insurance doesn't cover them at all and I certainly can't afford a $2400-$3,000 bill to be attached to my next IUI treatment!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well AF started today so we are officially on board to start trying again! Just waiting now to hear back from the doctor about calling my Clomid prescription in and then getting on a schedule for ultrasound monitoring. I have to admit I'm a bit anxious just thinking about going through all of this again but excited at the same time for the possibilities. Trying to keep the faith!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well it appears at least I must be doing something right at least getting my hormones to a better place! smile I have never shown a surge earlier than day 16 (and I'm convinced that one was a fluke because it's usually more like day 18 or 19). But today, CD11 I went in for a mid cycle ultrasound to see where we are and I have one good follicle on the left side that is already at 14.5! So I have to go back on Monday for another ultrasound and from there we will either do my trigger shot on Monday during the visit or Monday night and I will go in for IUI on Tuesday or Wednesday! It's hard not to get your hopes up everytime so I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic but I'm glad that the money, time and effort I have put into this cycle seems to be doing something!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Money aside I am so glad we are doing ultrasounc monitoring this month. This morning CD 13 I took two tests one with my Clearblue Monitor and the other on a cheapie stick. I peaked on my monitor and my cheapie stick was nowhere near positive where the past two months my cheapies have turned positive and my monitor has been a couple of days behind. I go back at 9 tomorrow for an ultrasound, please God let this be the month for a success!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So my follice measured at 17 today so it looks like we are right on track. Definitely think yesterday's peak on the monitor was inaccurate given the size of the follice as well as the fact that I have had zero EWCM which is usually a tell tale sign for me. I will be giving myself the trigger shot in the morning when I get up then we will go for our IUI on Wednesday at 9am. Please please God let this be it!!!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Good Luck!!

TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
TTC #2: since June 2016...

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Thanks Patienceisavirtue!

I took my HCG shot this morning which was completely different than the Ovidrel I'm used to. First of all we had to blend the powder with the sterile water and do the whole measuring the dosage etc which with the Ovidrel it is prefilled in a syringe and ready to go. My lovely wife is used to mixing medications for animals (haha) so she loaded up the syringe and stuck it in my rear! I told her that it was her contribution to our pregnancy (hopefully)! I'm trying to keep myself calm and ready for IUI in the morning but I can't help but get a little anxious. I go for acupunture tonight so hopefully that will calm my nerves some. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers please!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So I was anxious all night last night that I made the wrong decision by doing the IUI 24 hours (actually 26) after trigger instead of 36. I'm still not completely confident in my decision, but at this point it is out of my hands. I got my EWCM last night so hopefully that was a good sign. I took the day off today to relax after the procedure and just try to keep my stress levels down but about 30 minutes after I got home my wife called and said she had been in a car accident and needed me to come pick her up. She and the other driver are both fine but there was a hole busted in her radiator from the other car's hitch. So after I picked her up I had to drive her around town for awhile as she owns a pet sitting/dog walking business and had clients that she was already late to go see since the accident. So that being said my relaxation time today was pretty non-existent. But on a happy note, I'm glad she is okay and the procedure seemed to go well this morning. Now comes the waiting game!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I don't know whether it's the acupunture or what but so far I am oddly calm. I think part of it is that I feel like our timing was off so I haven't gotten my hopes up too much, but also suprisingly I have had zero side effects after the first day from the trigger shot. In the past I've done the Ovidrel shot, this time I did the 10,000 iu trigger (I don't remember the brand name). But I also don't know if that's a bad thing. Usually my breasts are tender etc around ovulation but this time I'm not feeling anything. I did have some more EWCM last night which makes me think even more we may have done the IUI too early but I guess we will know for sure in two weeks. Hopefully when I start my progesterone cream tomorrow my craziness will not resume, but so far so good!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

29 (edited by ana8284 2014-05-26 17:25:22)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well day 3 on the progesterone cream, 5dpi and still feeling pretty good. I've been utterly exhausted today but I think that is from a horrific sunburn I received yesterday.  I do have a sore spot in my left breast today. Only hurts to the touch though, I have large fibrous breasts though so I'm thinking that I'm probably gearing up for AF next  week. I'm doing okay though, for right now at least I don't feel like I'm gearing up for devastation like I've done with past cycles. If nothing else I think the lack of "symptoms" has been helpful at least I'm not reading into everything just to get disappointed.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So I'm definitely still not convinced our timing was good but I've started noticing some subtle things that make me wonder. So at 3DPI I tested just to see where we were with getting the trigger shot out of my system and you could barely see the second line. I tested again yesterday 6dpi this time with the same type of test I used at 3dpi and with a Wondofo at the same time and the Babi test looked the same as it did at 3DPI and the Wondofo was just slightly darker than it. I know that is not indicitive of a pregnancy but it's just weird that it hasn't changed more. Today I have white lotion like CM and out of curiosity I took my temperature after sitting in an air conditioned office for a while and it was at 99.2. Now last time when I did the progresterone cream my temperature was higher like that as well and it resulted in a BFN, but last time I felt hot all of the time. This time on the other hand I feel completely normal. Like oddly normal, usually I at least get sore breasts and cramping etc, this time there is absolutely nothing. Part of me wants to be hopeful that maybe the lack of signs is a sign, but the other part of me wants to continue believing that the timing was off so I don't get disappointed yet again.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So emotionally I've done great this cycle until tonight. For some reason tonight the anxiety hit and the thoughts that I may never experience pregnancy. I have faith that I will be a mother one day though it may be through adoption but just thinking that I may not experience feeling my baby move inside of me and having that incomparable bond just breaks my heart a little.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I had a lot of anxiety trying to sleep last night and this morning I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment. I was so proud of myself I had done excellent this cycle until yesterday, now I feel like my world is collapsing all around me. I know it's still early I'm only at 8dpi, but for some reason having hope about this time hurts even worse. I have an appointment for acupunture tonight so I'm hoping that will help with the stress. Working in a hospital makes it even worse because all day there are pregnant women all around and babies being born and I want to be genuinely happy for all of those bringing life into the world, but sometimes it gets hard to contain the jealousy and sadness. The trigger shot finally tested all the way out this morning so at least I know it's gone should by the grace of God I test positive later. If there is anyone out there that reads this keep me in your thoughts and prayers, I could really use them right now.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Hi Ana8284- Just wanted to say that I am thinking about you and that I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I have/get a touch of anxiety myself and it can be overwhelming when I feel stressed. I hope the acupuncture helps some.

For me,  I found that when I feel like I could just burst into tears, I give myself permission to cry and it is really helpful. Physiologically crying helps expel hormones through the tears and they build up in your brain (for both happy and sad tears). Getting that little bit of release helps me fall asleep easier, feel a little better, and be able to face the next day with a little less anxiety.

The ttc process really sucks and is an emotional roller coaster (especially if you are doing triggers and things like that- I have a friend who otherwise is perfectly fine, describes herself as bipolar on the trigger shot because it messes with her brain chemistry). Just know there are people who care and this process is not a reflection of who you are.

TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
TTC #2: since June 2016...

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Thanks Patienceisavirtue I appreciate your thoughts and kind words. The weird thing is the trigger in the past has made me all kinds of crazy with exaggerated "symptoms" etc this time there has been nothing which in a way I am grateful for but on the other hand makes me feel like it didn't work. I'm such a positive, optimistic person in my normal dealings but it seems like every time I get knocked on my butt at some point during the TWW.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I'm so frustrated. On 8 DPI which was Thursday I tested my trigger out and decided I would wait until this morning at 10 DPI to actually start testing. Feeling a little defeated last night I decided to do a "trial run" with one of my Wondfo strips just so I wouldn't feel as disappointed this morning when all of a sudden up popped a faint second line. It was very light but was visible to the naked eye without squinting. While I knew there was a strong possibility it could be an evap, my test the day before with FMU had been stark white and now here was this line. I couldn't help but have a glimmer of hope. I stared at the test multiple times last night to make sure the line was still there until I could take another Wondfo and one of the Answer tests I had picked up with FMU this morning. I woke up to use the bathroom about 330 then my hope like the strip from last night faded. Both new tests this morning were as stark white as they were on 8dpi when I tested my trigger out. Realistically I know it's still early and there is still a chance but that evap really sucked. I couldn't really sleep the rest of the night I kept dreaming I had a positive pregnancy test just to wake up and realize it was a dream.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Been feeling pretty crappy today, I don't know if it is AF coming on a little early or what. Yesterday I had weird cramping on and off all day right above my pubic bone. It was really dull I don't know if I can even call it cramping, but it was noticeable. Today I've been nauseous on and off, my breasts have started to get sore and I've got some very mild abdominal cramping. The test from the other night is still really bugging me. I looked at it again today and I really don't think it was an evap line. I'm not saying that I am/was pregnant, but I don't know if maybe there was some of the trigger shot left that didn't show up on the previous morning's test or what. It was the same thickness as the control line and the same pink/purplish color. I just wish I could feel better now, I've been on the sofa all day...blah!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Feeling even worse today. I woke up super hot and incredibly nauseous,  took another test BFN so I'm guessing at this point my hormones are in overdrive gearing up for AF. Had to call in to work today though because I feel so poorly.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So I'm feeling quite a bit better this morning, still a little nauseous and crampy but nothing too terrible. Losing hope though, yesterday I actually felt like maybe there was a chance that there is a little bean in there, I had a couple more "very faint positives" on the Wondfos so I picked up a box of FRER to test with this morning BFN. I'm thinking I might have a bad batch of Wondfo's as they are very inconsistent. Yesterday my cramps were pretty strange felt more like pulling and pressure paired with bloating as opposed to tightening cramps that I normally get. Alas this morning the tightening cramps started. They are very mild, but I feel pretty sure that the wicked witch will come right on time tomorrow.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

14dpi and still no AF, but still no positive HPT either. I feel like she is going to come at any minute, I wore a pad to bed last night because she usually arrives when I get up in the middle of the night to pee, but nada. I keep running to the bathroom feeling like I've started and nothing in sight. I'm pretty crampy though especially in my low back so I don't have any doubts that she is on her way, just wish we could go ahead and get the inevitable out of the way at this point.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well cramping started pretty instense about an hour ago and now I've got some spotting so she should be here in full force by morning. Another try bites the dust. This month will likely be our last try for the year, we may start moving towards the adoption route if this month's IUI doesn't pan out. Giving up the idea of being pregnant is really tough on me though.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I have to say that I think I have had the worse PMS that I have ever had this cycle. If I cramp at all it's maybe for an hour or so the day before/day that AF starts. I felt so bad on Monday I couldn't even go to work, and then had the horrible gas experience on Tuesday, was crampy yesterday and today I have been really crampy and my low back is killing me. All of this is very very unusal for me. Maybe a sign my hormones are getting stronger? I don't know but I do know that I expected to be a lot more emotional with this failed cycle, but thankfully I'm not. Of course I'm sad, but I think I kind of knew from the get go this one wasn't going to be it (though some very mean Wondfo's got my hopes up a couple of times!). Called my RE's office this morning to let them know that I started and get my Clomid refilled, in the midst of conversation I told the NP that this was my 7th failed IUI (my second RE so they haven't done them all) and she decided she wanted to talk to the doctor to see if we wanted to do anything different this time. SO now I'm just waiting for her to call back. Part of the reason I switched to this RE is because the practice had a grant that allowed for injectibles to be purchased for like $10 so I was really happy to know if we got to the point of trying them, we would actually be able to afford them. Unfortunately when I asked about them last month I was told that the grant ran out a few weeks prior and that they had been trying to renew it but with no luck so far. So at this point injectibles are not an option and we can't afford IVF so if this try doesn't work, we are going to have to have a serious conversation about next steps. This is also my last vial with the donor we bought from NW so we will probably need to switch that up too if we decide to move forward with insemenations.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So AF started yesterday and I immediately called my doctor to let him know we were out again, got my clomid refilled and scheduled my U/S. But then I started researching about natural ways to help with PCOS and read about a supplement called DIM. After reading many positive things about it, I ordered a bottle for overnight delivery from Amazon and should get it today. I'm really excited about trying it but now I'm at a crossroads.

Because both it and Clomid restrict excess estrogen, they shouldn't be taken at the same time, so do I sit this cycle out and give the DIM time to build up in my system or do I go ahead and shell out $180 for an U/S with the possibility it hasn't had enough time to build up yet and have to cancel IUI (which I'm fine doing but don't necessarily want to spend the money unneccessarily). But then I keep thinking, I generally ovulate on my own the month after Clomid anyway without taking it so maybe the DIM would just be a boost?

I had finally gotten to a peaceful place after my IUI failure this month now I'm just confused about which direction to take! After reading the articles I found about the DIM my DW thinks we should just sit this month out and try again in July, which part of me is okay with but then I think well what if the DIM doesn't work for me and then we have to wait another month, and then if the DIM does work for me judging by my cycles we would be finding out near my birthday the first week of August, which would be the best gift ever if it's a BFP, but I've had a BFN show up on my birthday before and that really sucked.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

My body is not reacting well to this cycle. So yesterday AF came but was kind of slow to start then picked up a bit (I don't bleed very heavily anyway) but was mostly just a dark red with clots when I wiped not too heavy on my pads. Up until about a couple of hours ago there really wasn't anything on my pad and when I wipped it was just brown. It's gone back a bit to the red with clots, but my back is still killing me and I'm still having cramps and nausea today. I never really have issues with AF, other than coming when I don't want her to, she's generally pretty kind to me and I don't have a lot in the way of cramps etc. This cycle however has definitely been the exception, I was having PMS for 3 days before she started and now I can't seem to shake the cramps and backache!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So due to needing to sign apparently for my order of DIM that I paid to have shipped overnight, my shipment will not arrive until today which is CD5 so my DW and I agreed we would just go ahead and start the Clomid on Saturday so I wouldn't miss my window to take it. Maybe it's a sign that I was supposed to stick with it for 1 more month, who knows? hmm

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

45 (edited by ana8284 2014-06-16 11:14:38)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Hormones are the worst... I mean the best I love you hormones please work this month to help me produce a baby! However hormones have not been kind to me lately. I have had this weird cramping on my left side off and on since Friday then last night I went to the bathroom and noticed two small drops of blood in my panties, when I wiped there was more. Nothing crazy or anything just a watery blood which continued for the next few hours then stopped as quickly as it came. No positive OPK yet (not that I would expect one yet) but have my u/s on Wednesday which is CD 14 to see where we are and plan our trigger shot and IUI. Definitely going to do a 36 hour IUI this time as we've always done it a bit earlier. DW and I had a talk over the weekend about our next steps if this try doesn't work. It's hard to come to the realization that we have already poured thousands of dollars into this and have nothing to show for it and it may be time to move on.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I'm pretty upset and disappointed this morning. I went in to have our CD14 ultrasound to hopefully prepare for trigger and IUI and all I had were my tiny PCOS follicles no actual measurable follicles. I held it together while in the office but got quite teary once we got in the car. It just seems like there is set back after set back and it makes me feel like this is never going to happen. I don't know why my body doesn't cooperate with me. I'm still having quite a bit of cramping, nothing unbareable or anything, but I don't know where it's coming from. My doc wasn't concerned about it or the bleeding I experienced on Sunday said that it can be caused by estrogen, but I just wish if I wasn't actually going to be able to TTC that I wouldn't have issues with my body. I had to come to work after my appointment and it's going to be tough to get through the day without breaking down again, but I'll get through somehow.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well the tides have turned a bit. Last night I started getting EWCM and this mornign there is quite a bit of it. I have a call in to my doctor and I am waiting to hear back to see if he wants to do another U/S. What a difference 6 days can make! Now I'm a bit freaked out about how to time though especially if the doc doesn't want us to do the trigger shot for some reason and even if he does since I'm close to surging on my own should we go earlier or stick to our original 36 hours after plan? So many decisions! Oddly enough I got a text from my friend last night asking if we were available for dinner on Saturday as the gentleman we are considering for a known donor will be in town and wanted to get together to talk. Maybe my getting ready to surge now is a sign that we should stick with the cryobank donor? I don't know but I do know I'm probably over thinking things yet again. Doc just called and wants me to come in at 10:30 for an u/s. Fingers crossed that things look good and we can figure out a good course of action!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

U/S today showed an 18mm follicle! I don't think I've ever been so excited about ovulation haha. Trigger tonight at 10pm and insemination on Thursday at 10am!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

IUI #7 completed this morning! I have to say that it was probably the worst one I've had so far. I have a bump behind my gums and the dentist couldn't see me until tomorrow morning so I was uncomfortable. Then I've been having an IBS flare up since last night so my tummy wasn't feeling too good. My doc couldn't get the catheter in because of the tilt of my cervix so he had to use the tanaculum again and pinch my cervix. Needless to say I wasn't super happy go lucky. But I do feel very grateful to have had the opportunity to try again this month. Trying to keep my stress levels down, we decided we were going to try to list our house and buy in a better school district while the market is still good but the realtor came by today and because we have had several foreclosures in our area, we are upside down with our mortgage. We are getting an appraisal done to see if we do better with it than the Comparative Market Analysis, but nothing is guaranteed, that's for sure! Hoping for an easy 2 week wait, a BFP and a good appraisal!  smile

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well here we are 4dpi. It's been a very busy weekend trying to get the house ready for the appraiser to come on Wednesday so that was good. I'm really trying hard to keep my mind off of the TWW as much as possible and the house thing has been a welcome distraction. My mom and sister are coming to visit Thursday for the 4th and we are supposed to go to a local amusement park. I asked the doctor about rides and he said just to keep them small since there really aren't any studies about riding rides during the TWW. I hope to still have a good time. They won't ride any big rides anyway so it shouldn't be an issue. My nips were pretty tender when I woke up this morning. I'm trying not to read into anything as I've had every "symptom" in the book with previous cycles and have yet to have a BFP but it is kind of weird, it's kind of late to  be from ovulation and it's pretty early to being AF related so I'm just going to chalk it up to all of the hormones running through my body from the trigger shot and clomid earlier in the month.  smile

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN