Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Hugs for you sweetie!!! <3 This stuff is so hard. After TTC for over 7 years I'm still thrown for a loop sometimes!!

TTC since September 2007 - 8 donor insems in 2012, all BFN. DH had varicocele repair #2 1/3/14.
It worked! Two clomid cycles and two IUI's with injectables all BFN, on to IVF! 3dt of 2 perfect embryos on 12/15/14, BFP 7dp3dt! Frederick Lars born at 37 weeks on 8/15/15!! FET for #2 on 9/29/16 - BFP 5dp5dt!! Bertram Wilder and Mabel Moon born at 28.4 weeks on 3/29/17!

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Thanks merilung, I appreciate the support. So temp dropped even more this morning indicating to me that it really is over. AF should be here tomorrow. I was grasping at straws yesterday after the temp drop thinking that maybe I was just cold as the temperature had dropped quite a bit. But this morning I felt plenty warm when I woke up and my temp was still lower so I think it is definitely right. As difficult as it is to know that there will be more waiting for my dreams to come true, I think this experience has been good for me. I hate to admit that I've had a couple of months where I gave been so convinced that I have continued to believe that I might be pregnant even after my period had started so having this extra confirmation I think will be good for my crazy.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well temp officially dropped below cover this morning and I'm expecting AF any second. I'm okay though, I feel a lot better than I did the other day, I think I had just a glimmer of hope with the temp drop and rise and then the shadow of the line that same day. I had my RESOLVE meeting last night so that definitely helped some too. I think that we will try with the known donor again next month and then probably wait until after the race so we can possibly begin pursuing IVF at that time. I am however going to call my doctor as soon as AF starts and insist that I have more tests run. Other than an HSG I've never had a single test run to check progesterone levels etc. I think that both of the RE's I've been to just run under the assumption that I just don't have access to sperm and that's the reason I haven't gotten pregnant, which may be the case but before we dive into IVF etc I want to know for sure that there is nothing else going on that might be an easier fix.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

104 (edited by ana8284 2014-10-23 09:19:37)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

15dpo today still no AF but temp is even lower today. I've definitely come to the conclusion that I'm not going to get my BFP this month, but I just wish my body would stop being so screwy. It's funny because I actually worried that I might get an invalid higher reading this morning because we just turned the heat on for the first time in the house last night, but no, even lower than yesterday. But I guess in some ways that is a good thing so I didn't get any false hope. This temping thing is for the birds! Come on AF, let's get this over with so I can get some tests run and hopefully get some answers!

ETS- AF finally came this afternoon. Now just waiting on the doctor's office to call me back so that I can get my testing set up.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I think the day after AF starts is the hardest for me. Leading up to AF when I'm realitively certain that I did not succeed I can't wait for it just to start to get it over with. The day after though I think the emotions come to the surface a bit. I'm set up for CD3 testing in the morning. While a part of me doesn't want them to find anything wrong, the other part of me thinks maybe if they find something that we can maybe do something to help it. I saw this poem/song on another website today and it made me tear up a bit.

Thought You'd Be Here

We thought you'd be here by now
your Mother and I
We're praying through our tears
that somehow
We might hear your sweet cry
Have we waited too long
It's getting harder to be strong
Is there something we've done wrong

But if you like dancing
I'll make it rain rhythm and rhyme
and melodies, child
And if you like dreaming
Your Mother will make your
imagination run wild
Somehow, we thought you'd be here by now

We have a room just for you, upstairs
It's right down the hall
So we'll be close should you ever
get scared
We'll come when you call
It's a room full of stories
Waiting to be told
Longing to behold

And if you like laughing
I'll paint you a circus of smiles
and ferris wheels, dear
And if you like living
Your Mother will fly you to
worlds both far and near
Somehow.....

I never knew the silence
could make me so deaf
I never knew that I could
miss someone I never met
Miss someone I haven't met yet

We'll be waiting


Words and music by Wes king

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well CD 3 blood work came back fine which I expected, with PCOS I don't have a problem making estrogen! Really intersted to see what happens in a few weeks with my later test to measure my progesterone. I'm a little concerned that I might have a cyst however. Ever since ovulation I have had cramping on and off low on my left side it really hasn't happened on the right at all, just the left so I'm a little concerned. I'm sure it's probably nothing just weird that it's still happening and I'm already done with my period. Emotions are still kind of up and down, I've done pretty well this cycle emotionally but every now and then I think about something baby related and find myself tearing up a bit. Trying to keep the faith that it will happen one way or the other!  smile

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

107 (edited by ana8284 2014-10-29 10:06:47)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I got to see my numbers from my CD3 tests today and they actually looked really great once I did some research on them. I'm happy that they look good but it's also frustrating not knowing what's going on. My FSH number registered as "excellent" so that really makes me happy. I started Pregnitude this month so we will see what if anything that does to help, although (sorry for TMI) it is making me super gassy and has come with increased urination for me! Starting back to the gym today and working on getting back to the excellent eating habits I had about a month ago. I also ordered an at home SpermCheck Fertility test for our KD. While I know it won't tell us everything, hopefully it will give us a good idea if at least things appear to be working as they should. I also ordered "The Stork Conception Aid" today to see if it will work better than the soft cup at getting things as close as possible to my cervix. I figured that if things don't look good with our KD we can at least order 1 vial and try that way. November will likely be our last try for the year and if things don't work we will probably just wait until the race in April so we can start looking at IVF. Part of me says just to wait and not give myself more potential heart ache until then, but the other part of me says "one more time" afterall it would be great to be able to give up our spot early in the game to another couple who needs the help!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Quick entry today: I got to thinking about it this morning that if I get pregnant this month, I would be due in August which is my birthday month so I got curious and looked it up, if I ovulate and get pregnant on my "normal" ovulation day (I use that word very lightly) I would be due on my actual birthday. Wow, what an amazing gift that would be! smile

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So it looks like my body wants to cooperate this month and ovulate at a normal 14 day or so schedule. Normally that would be really exciting for me but not this month. Our KD is on vacation until Saturday out which does not look good for trying this month. I'm on CD12 today and started getting EWCM yesterday. It's not abundant yet, but I don't normally get it until a couple of days before ovulation. In better news we met the other couples and our mentor couple for the Race to Parenthood last night and they are all really cool people. They were super welcoming and accepting of us being the only same sex couple which was really awesome. Progress marches on!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Normally I would be ecstatic to ovulate on CD14 as that never happens for me, but of course our donor is out of town this week so no try for us this month! Will be having CD21 testing on the 12th so I'm interested to see how that turns out. Better luck next month I guess!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So I ended up having a temp drop on CD16 and FF just gave me my crosshairs today of ovulating on day 16 not day 14. I had positive OPKs the evening of CD13 and all day on CD14, but CD15 it was negative and my EWCM had mostly dried up. Judging from previous charts I usually ovulate on the earlier end of my surge but this would have been a full 48 hours later. Have I maybe been inseminating too early? My period (except for that one time) has been 14 days after ovulation which would say to me that I ovulated when I thought I did, but maybe I have a shorter luteal phase and ovulate later? When we used the known donor last month we inseminated the evening of the LH surge (it was almost positive the night before so it very well could have been 24 hours later) and then the following day. The following day had very little "product" so I didn't have much faith in that "deposit". I just ordered some of the pink CB ovulation tests to see if maybe those will work better for me. I used the CBFM for the 1st year and a half of trying and didn't get anywhere, but I also didn't use the IC's in conjunction with them so testing 1st thing in the morning may have not been the best for that. I just wish my body could like start vibrating or something when it's time for ovulation and take this guess work out of it!  wink

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Went this morning for my CD21 test, hopefully it's not too early since FF has me ovulating later than I expected. Very anxious to see what they come back with. While I don't want there to be anything wrong, on the other hand I'd like some answers. I know the amount of tries we have done do not come close to comparing to what some of you have been through, I just feel like I've done everything that I know to do to make this happen and it's still not happening.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Anxiously waiting for my CD21 test results, still haven't heard anything!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So CD21 test came back, progesterone level= 14.1 so they were really pleased with that. Said with that level I likely ovulated between day 12-14. On the one hand I'm happy that things look good, on the other hand I just wish I had an answer as to why it hasn't happened yet. Oh well, will keep plugging along!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well AF started today so that tells me one of two things, either I ovulated when I thought I did on day 14 or my luteal phase has shortened. Due to my progesterone test paired with my CM and OPK I'm going with day 14. Now to see what my crazy body does this month when we are due to try again. It's definitely been more difficult than I thought trying with a known donor, just schedule wise since he is about 2 hours away. My wife owns a pet sitting/dog walking business so it's really hard to schedule things with that. This is her first year doing it and I have to say it's been really trying. On one hand I am incredibly proud of her for taking a leap of faith for something she has always wanted to do and becoming pretty successful in the meantime. On the other hand it's been very difficult to plan things as unfortunately people aren't always the most considerate and book services at the last minute. Since she is still building the business she never tells anyone no. And then there are those who want her to spend the night with their dogs and my favorite, the lady who wants her to spend the night with her cats. I was prepared for growing pains and to make sacrifices I just didn't quite expect them to be so often especially now that we are trying to plan how to get to see our family for Thanksgiving because one of her clients seriously cannot bear the thought of leaving her dog alone for 5 hours until she gets home. We have always had a near perfect relationship, we never fight and have always been genuinely happy. I'm not saying that we aren't now, I've just noticed that we've been getting more testy with each other and I hate that more than anything. We'll get through it though and hopefully be stronger than ever!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So it's been a little while since I wrote last, I've been trying to distance myself a little from the TTC world and calm my nerves a bit.   I've actually done pretty well, while babies are always in the back of my mind, I've been able to push forward a bit and refocus myself. I haven't been temping, just started OPKs a couple of days ago and have just been taking Pregnitude and my traditional supplements instead of consulting Dr. Google about the latest and greatest miracle drug. It's hard sometimes but I'm really trying to stop obsessing over it and see what happens. I did have a weird occurance this morning which caused me to get a little worked up but I'm doing well now. So this is the first month I tried the pink Clearblue digitals. So today is CD14 and I got a smiley this morning. While I did surge on CD14 last month, I had all of the typical symptoms the EWCM, slight cramping etc. this month there has been nothing so far so I was immediately leary of that. I called my doctor's office when they opened and asked if they could fit me in for an ultrasound. I was scheduled for 1pm. In the meantime I took two cheapie OPKs (later in the morning after a 2.5 hour hold) and both (different brands) were negative. At the doctor's office, my uterine lining looked good and they found 1 follicle on the left side, but it only measured 14mm which indicated that the OPK was a false positive. So glad I went before we disrupted everyone's schedule and made the 2 hour drive to our KD. My wife and I are going to have a talk about the KD situation tonight as well. He is planning on coming down here this weekend if I surge, but this arrangement really isn't working as much as I would like it to. My wife is self employed and it's really hard for her to break away for hours or days at the time without advance notice and our KD works for the government so his schedule is often very hectic. If all goes well we will try in a few days but after this I don't know that we can continue this. I did talk to my doctor briefly about IVF this morning, cost alone scares the heck out of me as I don't want to try it unless I can do the shared risk program. We are already going to have to finance this and if it doesn't work we wouldn't be able to finance again towards adoption.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Got my surge a little bit ago, our donor is coming into town tonight and we will insem in the morning! Trying to remain calm!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

118 (edited by ana8284 2014-12-08 07:15:19)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

My heart has been heavy this weekend. An acquaintance from high school's 3 year old daughter passed away on Friday night after a short viral infection. While I never had the pleasure of meeting this sweet girl, her energy bounced off the screen of my facebook page regularly and you could tell how loved she was. I just can't imagine losing a child, especially after all that we have been through trying to create our family. My heart grieves for her parents and for a life cut short so unexpectedly.

We did do our insemination Saturday morning, more on that later, for now I just ask that you keep this family in your thoughts and prayers.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

4dpo today, not much going on here. Trying just to keep busy with other things and not think about it. So here's the story of our insemination this month.

I got my LH surge about 10:30 Friday morning, we had already arranged for our donor to come down that night so we could inseminate the next morning. He arrived at our house just before 9 on Saturday morning and went in the other room and got to business. We tried The Stork OTC this month which is essentially a cervial cap with a placement wand. The cup is inside a collection condom and worked out much better for our donor than aiming for the cup. So anyway, he brought out the specimen and we raced to get it into the wand but we couldn't get the cup to go in. Turns out the inner piece that holds the cup that attaches a string to the cup for removal was already closed and could not be reopened. We rushed and poured the specimen into a soft cup and just did the insemination that way. Luckily the company was really nice and is sending me a replacement as I was really upset that I spent the money on a defective product.

I'm not holding much stock in this go around especially after all the hiccups, but I guess only time will tell!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well tested today 10dpo, BFN. I don't know why I keep driving myself crazy, I keep thinking I see a shadow of a line, but I know that it's just that a shadow. It doesn't stop me from starring at it for minutes at a time though. I didn't hold much stock in this go around anyway, and I know that it's still early but I'm pretty sure AF will be here by the weekend. I don't know if my ovulation hormones weren't very strong this cycle or what as other than having a little bit of extra CM, I haven't had any of my normal after ovulation "symptoms", no tender breasts, nothing. Oh well, will wait it out a few more days, then on to the next!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I think I need to be sent to the loony bin....

So let me preface this by saying, emotionally, I think that I have done the best I have ever done this cycle. Definitely a plus. I'm not symptom spotting at all and overall I've been pretty upbeat. I have however been staring at pregnancy tests expecting a line to show up that never does.

Over the past couple of days I've had several evap lines and I keep waiting for them to turn pink. They never do. That of course doesn't stop me from starring at it for 20 minutes and pulling them back out of the trash later to reexamine. They are evap lines, I know they are evap lines but it doesn't stop me from looking. I finally broke down and took a FRER tonight just to confirm, still negative.

I think that in part is what TTC is, pure insanity yet sometimes just sometimes things do turn out differently. Just praying for the day when it will finally be my turn.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Bleed. OPK. Ovulate. (-)HPT. Repeat.

I feel like this is the cycle my life has been on for as long as I can remember now. BFN again this morning at 12dpo and cramps have begun.

I didn't hold much faith in this month, but of course I was wishing for a Christmas miracle. No matter how many times you've been through this, the disappointment never goes away.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Today was rough. For some reason over the past couple of days despite having negative HPTs I had a renewed sense of hope that maybe just maybe there was something in there after all. I knew I was wrong I knew deep down that I wasn't but a small voice in the back of my head told me not to give up just yet.  I woke up today just sad though, knowing that soon I would be starting my period and whatever illusion I had convinced myself of would be gone. I took a shower and my wife came up to check on me as she wanted us to get out of the house for a bit and I just broke down, I haven't cried like that in a while. We both cried together for awhile then I got up and went to go get dressed and broke down again. Oddly enough, once I calmed down and really started to get dressed, I went to use the bathroom and there was AF. That actually calmed me down quite a bit and snapped me back into reality.

As I know so many of you on here know, it's so hard to want something so badly and have so little control over it. This time of year is also always tough. For years my wife and I have planned holiday traditions that we want to start with our family, and year after year goes by without having the child we both want so badly.

Trying to get through this and keep the faith.  hmm

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I can't recall, but have you had your fetility tested??HSG test? AMH and FSH?

TTC #1: BFP Cycle #11 IVF (2014)
TTC #2: IVF April 2017
             BFP: FET Due February 2018

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

kelleymel wrote:

I can't recall, but have you had your fetility tested??HSG test? AMH and FSH?

To be honest I don't know about AMH but I have had my an HSG which was fine and my FSH was perfect for my age.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

This is my horoscope for the day: Leo horoscope for Dec 22 2014
Some people believe that you should be grateful for not just the blessings in your life - but also for the challenges, disappointments, and betrayals you experience. These offer you valuable experience. They stir your empathy for others who have experienced the same things. It helps you to have a broader perspective on the world at large. It's hard to feel grateful, though, when you are suffering. Soon, a huge disappointment will prove itself to be a blessing in disguise, and you will feel very grateful for it. 

Hoping that I can be at peace soon, no matter what happens. Until my fertility troubles I have always had an "everything happens for a reason" attitude. TTC has definitely challenged that for me, but I'm hoping things will look up soon.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I long for the day when my life resembles some type of normalcy. I try to be optimistic and strong, and most of the time I succeed but it's just hard as I really feel like my life hasn't started yet. I have a fantastic marriage, the best wife and I hate to sound like she isn't "enough", it's just that my picture doesn't seem complete. I talked with my RE about starting injectibles, and we may start over the next month or so but we are likely going to need to wait until after the Race to Parenthood in April. My RE's office has a grant so the medication is super cheap, but I'd be looking at 4-6 ultrasounds (which with my long cycles would likely be 6) at nearly $200 each paired with the cost of the IUI so we'd be looking at about $1600 once everything is said and done (not including the sperm which I've already bought). Definitely not bad given some of the alternatives, but we are trying really hard to bring down our debt so adding more to it right now probably isn't the best idea. If the timing works out right we will probably go one last go around with our KD this cycle and then I think we will have to call it quits. If he lived closer it wouldn't be as big of a deal, but it's really trying to coordinate our schedules especially since we don't know until a day or so before.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well, new year, new opportunities! Trying to keep a positive outlook for this year despite all of the disappointment 2014 brought and that it looks like I'm going to have an anovulatory month which hasn't happened in quite some time. I'm on CD 18 today and no sign of ovulation in sight. I had a smiley on Saturday morning (CD15) but my dip strip with the same urine was no where close to positive and I've had no other symptoms of ovulation at this point. I've had scant amounts of CM here and there but that's been happening since last ovulation for some reason. My body has been super strange the past few weeks though. I'm not sure what is going on. I've been shedding much more, my face has been breaking out, bouts of nausea, my leg will randomly feel kind of numb and I've had this weird little dull ache in the same spot low in my abdomen off and on then yesterday I got super hungry all of a sudden but as soon as I took two bites of my food my stomach cramped up to the point I had to go to the bathroom just so I could take my pants off. Seemed like that was just quite a bit of gas randomly but it was so bad to the point I had to go home from work.  I think my hormones have suddenly gone crazy so I'm a bit worried I might have a cyst or a fibroid or something. I even took an HPT the other day just because my body has been acting so weird.

In any case, opportunity is on the horizon. Registration opened yesterday for The Race to Parenthood 5k which will hopefully help us raise much needed funds to continue with our journey. I have to admit that it's kind of hard to not feel a since of competitiveness with the other couples which I hate because their journey is just important as ours! It's just hard wanting something so much and having such a huge financial burder to get there. Why can't money just grow on trees?!?!  tongue

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I'm a little sad this morning. I got a text from my uncle (who has always been a father figure to me since mine wasn't in the picture) asking me to call him before I went to work. I called him and he told me that my grandmother (who means the world to me) had asked him to call me and explain that my mom was mistaken when she said that my grandma was planning on coming to our fundraising race, that she loves my wife and I dearly but she just can't "condone" us trying to have a child together. She says she wants the best for us and wants us to become parents but she can't take part in anything that has to do with us trying. I should back up and say that I was really suprised when my mom said that my grandma wanted to come, she came to our wedding reception with hesitation, but did come after being convinced by my cousin. I was practically raised by my grandma as my mom and I lived with her and my mom worked nights. I've always felt extremely close to my grandma, and even plan to name our daughter (if we have a girl) after her. It's just not been the same since I came out, she doesn't treat my wife and I any different, and we have always been extremely grateful for that but just hearing the way she talks about my cousin and his baby, I wonder if she will feel the same way about ours. While my grandma is one of the most faithful people I know, I guess the part that bothers me the most is that I know deep down inside that most of this stems from the fact that she thinks that her church will look down on her for coming. She's made a few comments in the past about my mom and sister not going to church with her and how bad that makes her look and I feel like this is the same. It just hurts a little not having my family's full support in the most important endeavor in my life. In other news, still no ovulation.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Finally surged! Unfortunately timing did not work out to meet with our KD but I'm glad to see my body isn't reverting back to old habits of inovulatory cycles. I felt like crap yesterday and am still feeling pretty icky, found out I have a UTI and the antibiotics seem to be kicking in now. Since I was home sick today, after I got home from the doctor I have spent the afternoon preparing postcards advertising for the race. I've sent them to a few off the wall places as well who knows who might respond! Really hoping things turn out well for the race, we could really use some hope!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Registrations for the race are off to a slow start. I should say they are going pretty slow for most everyone and it's still really early (the race isn't until April) but I guess I was just hopeful for more excitement about it. I'm a little worried that we won't get anywhere close to our goal especially since we anticipate very low family participation. For some reason I found myself talking to our child last night in my head. Not sure what triggered me to do so, but it was a pretty emotional experience. I'm sure part of it is that my progesterone levels seem to be at peak performance this cycle. Normally unmedicated cycles do not produce much in the way of noticible hormonal activities for me, but my boobs are quite sore and the breakout has started again, pair that with crying at commercials for the movie "Selma" and you have post-ovulation Ana. Probably a good thing we weren't able to try this month, I would probably be a wreck!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So this post really isn't baby related, just needed to get it out of my system. I haven't been happy at my job for some time now, which makes me feel really guilty considering that I have a decent paying job and a management team that has been nothing by supportive in my TTC efforts and has worked with my crazy ovulation schedule allowing me to be off when I need to etc. It's definitely not an issue for who I work for or with, they are a great company and great people. I'm just burnt out and more than that I am not meant to be a manager. While I think of myself as a strong leader, I suck at actually managing people. I hate confrontation and will often avoid discussions about poor behavior etc. I don't see that changing in myself, it's just not who I am. I'm also younger than most of the people on my team which I think sometimes leads to a lack of respect. I've tried to move into different areas of the company, but always get talked out of applying for whatever reason or as of late they've really started beefing up "qualifications" which I don't have a lot of. I started this job at an entry level right out of college and moved into my current position about two years later. Fast forward 8 years, I'm still here, still doing the same thing. I feel like I'm really good working with our clients but it's just the actual managing people part that gets me. Pair that with managing people across 6 different locations and I'm just tired. I've applied to numerous jobs over the past couple of years and have not even been called for an interview. I had my resume' professionally reviewed. I just don't know what to do. Between not being able to conceive to date and not being able to even have the opportunity for an interview to get a new job my self worth is really poor currently. I wouldn't consider myself depressed (I have been there before and this definitely isn't that) but I just feel defeated. I feel so guilty for even talking about this, overall I have a pretty great life. I have a wonderful wife, a great family, great friends, a roof over my head, a decent paying job... many people can't say that. I know I can't have it all, I just wish I had a place where I wanted to go to work every day, where I didn't feel anxiety every time a problem arises with one of my team members and of course, my number one goal, have a child. I feel like at least if I had one or the other it would make the other a little more bareable.  While of course I look forward going home to my wife in the evenings (it's my favorite part of the day) something is missing in our home and in my heart. Praying that 2015 will bring great things to our lives, a change is definitely needed.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Yesterday started as a good day, my boss took me to lunch at a fancy hotel restaurant to go over my review at which point I got an additional raise on top of my performance review raise. Got off of work, started headed home to have a quick dinner before my RESOLVE meeting when I realized my best friend hadn't called me back from the night before. I called her just to check in and she sounded a little down and said that she was just tired and that "well, I took a pregnancy test last night and it was positive and I confirmed it at the doctor today." A little backstory, for over the past decade my friend has only dated women. About this time last year, she decided that she was in to men, fine. She was dating this one guy on and off from about say February to Octoberish at which time they still  had a bit of a "friends with benefits" relationship. So late November she tells me about this guy that she met online who she's been talking to a bit and he is moving here December 1st for a job from out of state. Fine, great. Then a little before Christmas I find out they are engaged. A bit quick but again, fine. They got married this past Saturday, I was the photographer for the event (it wasn't a wedding wedding), we celebrated and away we went. 3 days later, she finds out she is pregnant. I want to be supportive I really do it's just really tough because we've been trying for so long and have gotten no where. While it would still sting a bit, it would be different if they would have been dating for awhile and then found out, but for us to work so hard to try to accomplish the one goal I have had my entire life and then she gets pregnant within the first 3 weeks of laying eyes on her now husband, is just a shot through the heart. Now all she wants to talk about is baby, and I feel stuck. On the one hand I don't want her or anyone else to dance around me, I want them to treat me like a normal person, but on the other hand I wish I could hide from her for the next 9 months or at least until we are pregnant. This one has probably been the hardest on me other than my 19yo sister in law, but even with her, at least she had been dating her boyfriend for over a year when she got pregnant! I really want to be a good friend, but I just feel a piece of my heart breaking. I'm trying to remain positive about all the great things I have in my life, but boy this is going to be a tough one.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

AF started today, which says to me that either my luteal phase is shortening or I'm ovulating a lot sooner than I thought as it relates to OPK testing. On Sunday afternoon 01/11 I had what looked close to a positive OPK but the second line was still slightly lighter. I had run out of smiley's by then and I don't trust using them alone anyway due to some false positives I have received. So by Monday morning 1/12 they were definitely positive, but they also appeared positive up until the morning of 01/13. If I go by my normal luteal phase length, today would be 14dpo which would put me on target for ovulating on 01/12.  Temping doesn't really work for me as I never sleep through the night without having to pee and my temps vary quite a bit depending on when I have to get up.

In other news, I'm feeling better about my friend and her pregnancy. We had a talk late last week and I think it was good for me to get my emotions out there. While it's still hard for me to be excited for her at this point, I feel better.
So far we've raised just over $600 for the race which is no where near where I would like to be, but I am grateful for every penny of it and luckily we still have just under 3 months to raise more. Still feeling pretty stressed with work, I'm starting to get anxious about coming in, especially when I know there is a situation I have to deal with but I'm trying to work through those feelings and make the best of it.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Hi Ana! We registered for the virtual 5k last night. I also sent the link out to a few of my friends and am trying to convince them to walk with us. Hope that's not too creepy coming from an Internet stranger  big_smile

TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
TTC #2: since June 2016...

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

That is so awesome! You must be the stranger that showed up on my list last this morning!!! Thank you so much, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I FB'd the name and I saw there was someone who was a friend of a friend so I just assumed that was the person who registered,  but I'm so excited to know it was you. Thanks again for your support, and baby E is absolutely adorable!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Lol, yep that stranger is probably me! I figured you'd be notified of the people on your team so I thought I'd out myself lol. If there are any more strangers, they might be my friends (but they are procrastinators so it would probably be closer to the race date)

That is funny about facebook. I've never had one but I do have a common name so there are probably a lot of profiles with my name.

I hope the rest of your fundraising goes well!

TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
TTC #2: since June 2016...

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

That's so kind of you. I can't tell you what it means to me. I've been kind of in a bad place lately just not being where I thought I would be at this point in my life especially as it relates to parenthood so it's so great to know that there are people out there like you! Thanks again!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

So I know many of you on here don't participate in religious practices, and I'd be lying to say that I'm "devout" in any way shape or form, but I do consider myself a pretty spiritual person and I do practice Christianity, though I do find meaning in many other faiths. In any case, for Lent I decided to give up self doubt and negativity. This journey has really turned me into someone I don't always know. So I decided to make a concious effort to live positively and try to rid myself of negativity as much as possible. I have had my moments but so far when I identify that I'm getting to that stressful place, I take a moment and try to center myself again. So far so good!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

140 (edited by ana8284 2015-03-03 10:47:30)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Today has been a good day. We went from just my mom and my sister coming to our fundraiser race to my mom, my sister, my aunt, 6 cousins and wait for it....my grandma! It means the world to me that she is coming and that so many more of my family members have registered. I'm a little heartbroken for my wife though, at this point no one in her family has registered and we really don't think that they will. Her parents are coming to visit this weekend and she plans to have a talk with them before they leave which I don't really know how that is going to go. Her parents have come around to the idea of me and have been very welcoming and kind to me but I doubt that I will ever be introducted as their daughter-in-law. They have never hidden  their beliefs on the matter and I know that is hard for my wife (they didn't come to our wedding either). She really loves her dad (her mom is her step mom) and I know she really wants to have a closer relationship with him being 100% herself and knowing that he accepts her for who she is.

Race registrations are coming along, we are still behind the other teams (some pretty significantly) but having my family there makes up for it and if my wife's family comes that will really be the icing on the cake. Of course we want to be able to raise as much as we possibly can, but right now having our family's support means so much more than money.  smile

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well unfortunately our KD engaged in some potentially risky sexual behavior so it looks like we are officially done trying with our KD. I'm kind of bummed because we really liked him and we really thought he could be a great male figure in our child's life later down the road, but I guess everything happens for a reason. At least we have the race coming up to look forward to and hopefully it will give us the opportunity to open new doors. Trying to stay positive! It will happen! It will happen!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Trying *really* hard not to even start to get my hopes up right now. We just got a call from my wife's mother in Indiana that a friend of a friend is 5 months pregnant with her 5th child and is looking to give him up for adoption at birth. She told her about us and she is interested in talking with us further. Of course there are so many things that we need to go over and many things would be an automatic deal breaker for us. While I really want to carry, part of the reason we decided not to pursue adoption further when we first investigated it was because we knew we couldn't afford a full service agency and the thought of needing to do a lot of the leg work to locate a birth mother was just overwhelming to me. This may end up being nothing, but calls out of the blue like this do not come every day.

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Wow, I just read through your posts here and you have been through so much...you really deserve this! I'll be checking back often to see how it pans out.

I'm also intrigued by the Race to Parenthood! It's a great program...if I wasn't on vacation to Vegas that weekend I'd come as it is not far from us.

https://lb1f.lilypie.com/Cnc9m5.png

TTC from 06/2015...Baby M born 11/24/16!

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Thank you b&k! Haven't heard anything from her yet but of course it has been less than 24 hours!

Have a great time in Vegas! smile

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well it's been over a week now and still no call or email. I'm okay though, I really didn't get my hopes up about it at all for once. Now I'm just waiting for my cycle to start next week so I can start my injectibles cycle. I'm getting a little nervous about starting to try again. I've been pretty good emotionally for a while now and I'm afraid of getting let down again and slipping back into a dark place. I'm trying to stay positive though. I have to say that right now the only thing that has been on my mind stemmed from another thread about IVF not being offered to an obese patient. I do not want to start a conversation about that here, but I did read through most of the thread and it was honestly kind of hard to read. Not because I was taking one person's side over the other but having been overweight my whole life and now being classified as obese, I frequently worry about if my weight is what is prohibiting me from getting pregnant and if I am blessed enough to get pregnant I want to make sure that I instill healthy eating and exercise habits into my child at a young age. I'm extremely healthy other than my weight. I test perfect for all functions etc. and I doubt I eat much differently than most people that are half my size. I'm working on my weight and I hope to be at a healthier weight soon, but I will be honest that I frequently yo-yo and I can literally (really not kidding) step on the scale today at one weight, have one meal that is less than perfect and weigh in 3+ lbs heavier tomorrow. I also don't get much exercise. I work a desk job and I stay in my office most of the day. A few weeks ago I rigged my desk up so I could stand most of the day then sprained my ankle the very next morning and I am still having problems with it. Anyway, all of this to say, I have some work to do. I don't ever want to possibly lose my one dream in life to being overweight.

In other news, race participation is finally starting to pick up. We still aren't quite where we would like to be, but I'm just so grateful for what we have accomplished.  Hopefully these last  2 1/2 weeks will bring some more registrations and donations to put us that much closer to our goal!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

I have no idea why but for the past few weeks I've been having random dreams that I am breastfeeding a baby. Haha oh what we dream!

This cycle has actually been good for me, while I often have "symptoms" outside of the months that I'm trying this month has been particularly strong. I'm 9dpo and my boobs still hurt (maybe something to do with my breastfeeding dreams haha) and I've had episodes of nausea and exhaustion. Anyway, as someone who has been a frequent symptom spotter, it's good to know that these symptoms can happen to me on months when I am on 0 drugs and have no chance of being pregnant that way my mental health is not ruined on months that I do try! Getting anxious/excited for April though. I scheduled our sperm shipment yesterday and now just waiting for flo to come next week!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

The race is 12 days away eek! I'm excited but I'm kind of ready for it to be over too. There is nothing I hate worse than asking people for money and it's been kind of disheartening to see how many people don't even acknowledge you. My DW's stepbrother is coming, but as of right now he is the only person out of her family or that is not one of our mutual friends that is coming for her. She acts like it doesn't bother her, but I know it does. I don't know, I don't want to sound bratty or that I "expect" anything, I'm not that kind of person at all. But even some of my close friends haven't registered or even acknowledged, I mean at least they could say, "hey I want you to know I'm there for you in spirit, but I won't be able to make it." I think I just take it personally when I shouldn't. This past weekend was a huge 10k in our area that brings out thousands of people and seeing so many of my friends that participated in that but haven't acknowledged the race made me a little sad.

Anyway, pity party over. smile

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Well I started injectables last night! AF came a day early on Tuesday and I went for my baseline u/s yesterday. I also convinced my doctor to do an endometrial scratch to see if that helps at all. If all goes well we should have our IUI the week after the race! Trying to stay positive and know that great things are going to happen! We also officially signed our life away last night and our house goes on the market Monday! I'm a little nervous about how all of it will play out, but again trying to keep the faith! We have a lot of projects to do over the weekend to finish prepping to start showing the house, but I think we can get it done! It will be good to have something to take my mind of of the TTC process, just hoping it doesn't turn into anything too stressful!

http://i59.tinypic.com/27zc85c.jpg

IUI #1- 07/12-BFN, IUI #2 08/12-BFN, ICI at home 10/12- BFN, Back to Back IUI #3 08/13-BFN, IUI #4 09/13-BFN, IUI #5 03/14- BFN, IUI #6 05/14- BFN, IUI #7 06/14-BFN
KD-10/14-BFN KD-12/14-BFN IUI #8 3/15 BFN, IUI #9 4/15 BFN, IUI #10 6/17 BFN
Potential Adoptive Parents- Baby Due November 2017!
IUI #8 04/15- BFN

149 (edited by Patienceisavirtue 2015-04-11 06:58:26)

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Baby Dust from E to Team Green!
http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e4/Skeletor101312/96F590E3-E7CB-4291-8A25-6D7F65B75AAF_zpsca3oseog.jpg


We did our walk this morning! Thanks for giving us a reason to be active and healthy. Hope you guys have a wonderful race day!!! Good luck!!!

TTC #1: 1-5 BFN; 6- BFP
TTC #2: since June 2016...

Re: Hoping for a baby for our 5th anniversary....

Happy race day!!

TTC since September 2007 - 8 donor insems in 2012, all BFN. DH had varicocele repair #2 1/3/14.
It worked! Two clomid cycles and two IUI's with injectables all BFN, on to IVF! 3dt of 2 perfect embryos on 12/15/14, BFP 7dp3dt! Frederick Lars born at 37 weeks on 8/15/15!! FET for #2 on 9/29/16 - BFP 5dp5dt!! Bertram Wilder and Mabel Moon born at 28.4 weeks on 3/29/17!