Topic: You know what sucks? (pity party warning)
Jealousy. It sucks. We watched this stupid movie tonight and the main character's girlfriend was pregnant. Okay, fine, I can handle that... but then they showed her having an ultrasound. A happy, heart-warming, lovely moment of seeing the baby on the screen. It sucked. So much. I've had an ultrasound. Several actually. And none of them were lovely. None of them were heart-warming. None of them were happy. They were all moments of "oh, gosh, um, well. I can't really say anything. You'll have to wait".
I can be okay with not being pregnant right now. I can be okay with a friend who is due at the exact same time I would have been... I think.... I can be okay with ttc again soon... But what if it never happens for me? What if I never get that happy moment? We'll have more kids, I'm sure of that.. In some way, some how, we will... But I really, really, really want to be happily pregnant, successfully pregnant. Why can't I have that? Is this ever going to stop hitting me upside the head when I least expect it?