Topic: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

he has become quite interested in knowing his genetics. I have shared the long profile,with him and he has read through it several times. He wants pictures and the ability to meet him sometime. 11/12 years ago there weren't any known donors. Can they change there mind? Can I ask the bank to contact him for a pic?

http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q52/suzyroed/connonandray.jpg

2 (edited by RedHeather 2015-08-08 15:33:56)

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

I found this on the NW website. It sounds like they won't even attempt to contact the donor until your son is 18, but at that point they'd be willing to attempt contact based on the possibility that the donor may have changed his mind about remaining anonymous.

In order to protect all parties, the actual release of donor identity information is restricted by NW Cryobank to the children produced through the use of their donations once the children have reached legal age. This is currently termed "known donor", or "identity release" donor by many in the donor industry. Because a donors' personal situation will indeed change over the years, there can be changes in the donors attitude and openness to future contact. In general, past experience has shown that many donors become more open to contact with children as they age and become more mature, established, and stable in their own lives. Of course there can be no guarantees that a donor will even be alive or available for contact 20 years into the future. ... In order for a legal aged donor child to initiate possible contact with their donor, they must approach NW Cryobank with the donor ID number and other information that can be used to authenticate the request. We are not able to reveal information in client charts to third parties for any reason unless specifically authorized to do so, so we would be unable to refer to charts to reveal donors ordered by their parents. NW Cryobank will at that time make a reasonable search for the donor, and if the donor is found, to then inform the donor of the contact. At that time the donor would then have the option of reciprocation to that contact and to choose the level of contact that he is comfortable with at that time. If the donor can't be easily found, the donor produced child would have the option of paying for a more exhaustive professional search for donor contact information, but this search would not be guaranteed in any way and would still be run by NW Cryobank as the third party.

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

Is there an older donor sib? Maybe not 18 yet, but that could shave some time off the wait.

http://lbyf.lilypie.com/GOzIm4.png
https://lb2f.lilypie.com/hAO7m4.png
https://lb1f.lilypie.com/CmQMm4.png

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

I would encourage waiting for 18 too.  Curiosity is normal but your child may be wanting or thinking he will have a relationship.  If the donor is not interested your child could be disappointed.  On the other hand, since I'm assuming you have no interest in co-parenting, it would be inappropriate and potentially disastrous to reach out now.

http://lbyf.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/AfUDuhU.jpghttp://lbyf.lilypie.com/AfUDm4.png

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

Does he have any donor siblings you are in contact with? (I ask purely out of future interest for my own kiddos.  I imagine they'll be interested in the donor, as I know I would have been.).

You might also put up info on the national sibling registry, if there aren't an on the NW registry.

http://lpmf.lilypie.com/7NZpm4.png
Lucky Cycle 14: IVF!! Antagonist Cycle with Lupron Trigger

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

He has no interest in a relationship just wants info. We no of an older donor sib but that family doesn't seem to have interest in contact. There is a younger as well. At 10 he has no interest in siblings just donor info. Ugj

http://i133.photobucket.com/albums/q52/suzyroed/connonandray.jpg

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

Bummer. I was hoping a donor sibling may be helpful.  Well, he definitely has a reasonable interest.  I know I'd just want as much info as possible.  I'd still look into the national registry.

http://lpmf.lilypie.com/7NZpm4.png
Lucky Cycle 14: IVF!! Antagonist Cycle with Lupron Trigger

8 (edited by AndyLou82 2015-11-30 21:57:12)

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

Hi, I realize this post is 3-4 months old but had a thought on it. Any info in the long profile could be learned about more, sort of a project? This idea is used in genealogy research, if you hit a 'dead end,' you can at least study what you DO know. Thid could be a hobby that the donor enjoyed, maybe learn abt it, see if your son likes it? I swear some of these interests have a genetic push component so you never know, and it could provide a sense of knowing him.
Donor sibs are also a great idea to get check into, if you/he see a pic or find any personality quirks etc they share it might be some of what your son is searching for.
Best of Luck!

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

My son too wants to meet his donor my partner lost the records and I can not get them from the crynobank because they lost them I think his number was 0126 please reply if that is your donor number my son is 12

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

My children (6 & 3 - same donor) do not care yet. I have done Ancestry testing to give the kids more info about their back round and found other 1/2 siblings actually that way.
Something like that may be helpful for your child.

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

Sara291, how did you use Ancestry to identify other donor siblings?  I'm just curious.

Re: My 10 year old want to meet donor!

blkbrd3 wrote:

Sara291, how did you use Ancestry to identify other donor siblings?  I'm just curious.

When you take the DNA test you'll get a list of DNA matches. They guestimate the relation based off of how much genetic material you two share. So I am assuming her kids matched with someone else that took the test at a high rate of shared DNA.